Biblical Principles for Marriage - Introduction

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This is the first sermon in a series of messages regarding biblical principles for marriage. This sermon was given on January 10, 2016 at Wayside Community Church. It provides some introductory foundation for a series of messages that will include 5 more sermons.

Written Excerpts:

Genesis 2:18 (NKJV) And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

Introduction:

I’ve had an announcement placed in the bulletin for a couple of weeks explaining how Focus on the Family is recommending that churches take advantage of the fact that Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday this year. Therefore, they recommended that pastors and churches find ways to emphasize the sanctity of marriage on that Sunday.

As I anticipated taking part in this effort, I decided to attempt a series of messages on the biblical view of marriage, because it is very evident that the definition of marriage, the sacredness of marriage, and the overall understanding of marriage as presented in the Bible has been under attack for quite a long time.

This first sermon is going to be an introductory message to lay some groundwork for the rest of the messages. Before we go any farther I want to say several things to “introduce my introduction!”

1.   Some may not consider a sermon series on marriage to be a topic of eternal significance like other topics that are more closely related to salvation.

ü   Focus on the Family is urging pastors to honor marriage because it is the foundation for society, and because it has been under assault in our culture for a long time.

ü   I agree with that assessment and believe that Christians ought to be the “salt of the earth” in keeping the culture from total decay.

ü   In addition to all that, “What if,” as one author says, “God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”

2.   There may be people in the congregation from week to week who feel this topic doesn’t apply to you for various reasons: still single; single again (widow/widower, divorced); or some other reason.

ü   I am sensitive to the fact that this may not be a pleasant subject for some people for various reasons.

ü   By the help of God’s Spirit, I will try to make sure the messages include enough spiritual insights and applications that they will be beneficial to everyone.

ü   Also, if all of us can become more grounded in the biblical principles regarding marriage, we can help provide the salt and light that is needed in society to stop the prevailing trends in our culture.

3.   The purpose of this series is not to condemn or judge anyone.

ü   No matter how committed we are to our marriage relationships, none of us is perfect. We all have areas we wish were better and we certainly have room to improve.

ü   I only want to explore together the principles we find in God’s Word that guide us in living more like a disciple of Jesus at home as well as in the world.

ü   The principles in the Bible show us God’s ideals for marriage, even if we do not always measure up. We do not define marriage, God does.

4.   It seems to me at this point that my approach to the topic will be to provide several brief principles today that we will use to compile a definition of marriage, then in the coming weeks, I will be digging a little deeper into Scripture to explore more fully each of the principles that we introduce today.

5.   Finally, as we go through this series, there may be questions that come up in your minds that you wish I would address. Please let me know. If I can’t address them publicly, I’ll answer you privately.

So, there are two main points that I want to cover as we introduce the series today, before we launch any further into this study.

I.    The Bible is our source of truth.

Those of you who have been attending here for as long as I’ve been here have perhaps already heard me touch on this point before, but it certainly is worth repeating. We are living in day when fewer and fewer people believe that there is any such thing as absolute truth, and if there is, then it certainly can’t be found in the Bible. For that very reason, the views about marriage in our society have been constantly changing and will continue to do so as long as we cannot agree (or refuse to consider) that there is a standard of truth on which we must rely in order to keep from ending in total chaos and confusion in our society.

It is alarming to me to see the number of people that look at the traditional values of marriage as just the opinion of old people who haven’t learned how to change with the times. For me and hosts of others, it has nothing to do with being in sync with the times, but it has everything to do with taking God seriously when He speaks to us about any of the day-to-day aspects of our lives and how we live to obey Him and thus glorify Him.

A. Truth is infinite.

B. Infinite truth is unknowable…. unless revealed.

C. The Word of God is the revelation of truth.

John 17:17 “Sanctify them through thy truth. Thy word is truth.” John 14:6 “I am the way, the truth and the life…”

When the word of God speaks about any subject, it speaks the truth. It may require much more than a casual reading to understand the truth in some subjects, but I maintain that any serious disciple of Jesus must eventually come to the conviction that the Bible tells us the truth about every subject it addresses.

II.  The definition of marriage

The actual word marry or marriage is a word that is not used all that often in the Bible.

"marry" / "marriage(s)" = 41 times in KJV (not all the same Hebrew words)

"husband" = 120

"wife" = 396

There are a couple of different ways we approach the definition:

a) We could provide a comprehensive definition and then explain each part of it, phrase by phrase, or

b) We can talk about principle components of marriage and then combine them into a comprehensive definition.

For our purposes today, I have chosen to use the second option.

Marriage is between one male and one female.

Genesis 1: 27-28 (NKJV) So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. ²⁸ Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

Genesis 2:24 (KJV) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

(Norman Geisler) The use of the terms man and wife in the same context of father and mother make it clear that the reference is to a biological male and female.

We’re going to come back to this issue at a later time, but from a purely philosophical standpoint, once this component of the definition is abandoned, then we’re on a “slippery slope” that allows “marriage” to mean anything and everything society is willing to tolerate, which, we’ve already learned in American culture, is constantly changing.

Marriage is a complementary relationship.

(Phillips' Treasury of Humorous Quotations) Before marriage a man declares he will be master in his own house or know the reason why; after marriage he knows the reason why.

Genesis 2:18, 21-23 (NKJV) ¹⁸ And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable (KJV, help meet) to him." d the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. ²² Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. ²³ And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man."

“help meet” / “helper comparable” – The word indicates a helper to complement; not a slave or a supervisor.

(TWOT) While this word designates assistance, it is more frequently used in a concrete sense to designate the assistant. (Cf. Genesis 2:18, 20 where Eve is created to be Adam's help[er].) As to the source of the help this word is generally used to designate divine aid, particularly in Psalms (Cf. Psalm 121:1, 2 [“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help.”]) where it includes both material and spiritual assistance.

Marriage is a union of spirit, soul and body.

This simply means that the man and the woman are joined together in a complete union of their entire person. Without the union of all three areas the marriage relationship will be incomplete or less than God designed it to be.

Malachi 2:13-14 (NKJV) And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. ¹⁴ Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

“companion” – also translated “partner”

(Tyndale Commentaries) The word partner (NJPS, NIV, NJB; cf. NAB, NRSV) is found only here in the OT. The verbal root is used in architectural contexts to signify a ‘seam’ or ‘joint’ in building and construction (e.g. Exod. 26:6, 9, 11). The word thus connotes a ‘permanent bonding’. The expression suggests that the wife is not property to be discarded at will, but an ‘equal ... as a covenant partner’.

This threefold description of the wife (as wife of your youth, partner and wife of your marriage covenant) ‘serves to emphasize the closeness, the intimateness of the relationship between the marriage partners….

There are many other references in the Bible that we could use to support this union of spirit, soul and body, but the point is that it is not just a cohabitation, but a true union of two complete personalities.

This principle is also where it is appropriate to speak about the importance of love in the relationship, which we’ll talk more about in a later sermon.

Marriage is a commitment/covenant for Life.

(Illustrations Unlimited) Marriage used to be a [permanent] contract. Now many regard it as a ninety-day option.

Malachi 2:13-14 (NKJV) And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. ¹⁴ Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

Matthew 19:6 (NKJV) “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

These Scriptures and others give the clear indication that this is a “comprehensive covenant.” By that term I mean that it is not only a covenant between two people, but the Bible clearly indicates that it is a covenant with God. There are other indications in the overall picture that it is also a covenant with society; the community; and the “state."

Conclusion:

If we try to combine all of these aspects of marriage into one comprehensive definition I suppose it could sound something like this: Marriage is the lifetime covenant of one man and one woman complementing each other through a loving union of spirit, soul, and body.

When God had finished His creation, He pronounced that it was all “good.” Yet, there was one aspect of the creation which He declares was “not good.” “It is not good for man to be alone.” God, in His eternal knowledge and wisdom, designed marriage because of His grace and tender love for all humanity to give us the very best.

There are other passages in the Bible that stress the point that marriage is not for every person. Some are “blessed” or “gifted” with singleness in order to better fulfill God’s purposes for them. But, the point I want to make is that God loves us more than we can imagine and He designed marriage and all other facets of life for our blessing and benefit, if we will follow His design and purpose. When we resist God’s design and purpose for any facet of life, we do it to our own hurt and detriment, because God made us and He alone knows what’s best for us.

Let’s respond to this truth by standing together and singing the prayer that is found on page 457 in the blue hymnal.

God, Give Us Christian Homes