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This is the fifth sermon in a series of messages on marriage. It was given on Feb. 7, 2016 at Wayside Community Church.
Written Excerpts:
Matthew
19:5-6 (NKJV)
5 … 'For this reason a man shall leave his
father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh'? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
Introduction:
Today
we are continuing the series of messages on the sanctity of marriage with this
5th sermon of the series.
First,
for those who may not have been here before now, the idea for the series was
founded in a request from a Christian organization called, Focus on the Family,
for pastors and churches to use Valentine’s Day as a Sunday to honor marriage
in our nation’s churches. Therefore,
I felt impressed to do a series of messages on marriage leading up to the 14th
of February.
In
the first message, I gave several phrases that characterize the principles of
the marriage relationship as defined in the Bible, then I concluded it by
giving a definition of marriage that incorporated those principles.
The
principles we’ve discussed so far include:
Marriage is gender specific – one man and one woman.
Marriage is a complementary partnership – each spouse living out their God-given roles as a
team to divide their weaknesses and multiply their strengths.
Marriage is a union of spirit, soul and
body – complete intimacy of the
entire personality.
Now,
we are going to talk about the next principle that we presented.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment or
covenant.
It
is a sad fact that many people do not think of marriage as a life-time promise.
Some people act as though they view it the same as dating, courtship, or
engagement, which can be abandoned if things aren’t going well.
A
few Sundays ago I shared this quote:
(Illustrations
Unlimited) Marriage used to be a contract. Now many regard it as
a ninety-day option.
Which
reminds me of something I read a while ago… (Illustrations
Unlimited)
Lucy
says to Lois: What happened when you showed your new engagement ring to the
women in the office? Did they admire it? Lois: Admire it? Four of them recognized
it!
Let
us look at some passages in the Bible that speak about this principle of
commitment.
I. God’s
original design promotes permanence.
Matthew
19: 6 (NKJV)
6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." (KJV, “put
asunder”)
Jesus
said, Matthew 19:8 (NKJV) "Moses,
because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives,
but from the beginning it was not so.”
Here
we are specifically told that there may be times when the termination of a
marriage is permitted, but God’s
original design and plan didn’t include divorce. These
are just two of the references in the Bible that reveal the truth that God designed (intended) marriage to be a
permanent relationship.
Romans
7:2 (NKJV) 2 For
the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long
as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her
husband.
To
these verses I’ve just mentioned could be added a host of others, even from the
OT, that reveal the fact, “God hates divorce” (see Mal. 2:16, KJV-“He hateth
putting away…”)
The
clear message that has been lost in our culture and is rarely communicated plainly
to our youth and young adults is this, “God intended for marriages to be for
life.” No
person, especially a Christian, should enter into marriage with the idea that
it might be a temporary thing.
I
am sadly aware of the fact that there are myriads of people who got married
with every intention of staying together for life, but serious circumstances
intervened and derailed their best intentions. All
of those situations cause years of sorrow and untold heartaches, for which we
mourn and pray for help and hope. However,
what I’m trying to say this morning is this, “Let us never surrender to the
spirit of this age, and conclude that God is pleased with all the marriages
breaking apart.”
II. The
concept of covenant promotes permanence.
There
are at least two references that clearly use words and concepts that teach the
permanence of marriage. Let’s
revisit a couple of the verses we read earlier this morning in our responsive
Scripture reading.
Proverbs
2:17 (NKJV)
Who forsakes the companion of her youth,
And forgets the covenant of her God.
The
context of this verse includes the words of Solomon giving counsel to young men
to let Wisdom and Discretion deliver them from the “immoral woman” who has
forsaken the companion (KJV, “guide”) of her youth and forgotten the covenant
of her God.
Malachi
2:14 (NKJV)
…the LORD has been witness between you
and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is
your companion And your wife by covenant.
The
word covenant appears in both of
these texts.
In the Proverbs reference, the meaning is not clear. It could be referring to the
covenant/vow she made to her husband before God, or it could be referring to
the covenant her people (nation) had
with God, which included the seventh commandment regarding adultery.
The
second reference in Malachi is more direct. “She is your wife by covenant.”
(KJV, “wife of thy covenant.”)
There
are probably a lot of things we could say about the concept of covenant, but let me just say this much…
A covenant includes a vow or promise.
There’s
not much information in Scripture about the proceedings of a wedding or
marriage ceremony. However,
all types of covenants even in the earliest days of biblical history included
an oath/promise to follow and maintain the terms that had been agreed upon,
whether it was a covenant between two equals, or between a superior subject
(king) over an inferior subject. The
sources I consulted indicated that ancient Jewish practices included this
“promise” or “oath” to keep the covenant. This idea would have been familiar to
the audiences of the prophets, and even Jesus.
A covenant includes witnesses.
In
many of the biblical covenant passages, God is assumed to be the witness
between the parties making the covenant. In
other contexts, elements of nature were witnesses; e.g. mountains, the heavens,
the seas, etc. “I call heaven and earth to witness between us this day…”
I
remember the OT Hebrew professor that I had many years ago said that the
ancient “weddings” of Semitic or eastern cultures were more related to civil
ceremonies than they were religious ceremonies because of the fact that the
marriage required the approval and sanction of the family/ community and it
involved the participation of the clan or community. Marriages
were not “complete” until there was a covenant promise made in the presence of
witnesses to confirm and validate the promises being made.
I
really don’t have time to go into it much further, but in my reading and study,
I discovered a couple of passages in the NT which seem to indicate that immoral
behavior could be described as “becoming one flesh” but the physical intimacy that occurred during immoral conduct was still not viewed as the
equivalent of marriage. Why?
I believe it was because there was no public covenant (vow) in front of witnesses. Evidently
then, as time went on, marriages took more of a religious tone and became a
function of the church as well as the “state.” The company of witnesses
expanded to include the community of faith.
We’ve
already observed that Paul in the NT compares the relationship between husband
and wife to the relationship between Christ and the church. OT
prophets compared the relationship between God and Israel to a marriage. The
idea of covenant comes out clearly in these comparisons. God did at times bring
judgment against Israel, but He never abandoned them. He never gave up on them
entirely. Why?
He told them repeatedly it was because He had made a covenant with Abraham,
Moses, and David. God
was not going back on His promise.
Conclusion:
Dear
friends, nothing illustrates the permanence of marriage any better than the
unfailing commitment God has made to His people. Following
the normal practices of the eastern cultures regarding covenants, God sealed
His covenant with Israel by the blood of sacrificial animals. But…
there came a day, many centuries later, when He sealed the New Covenant with
the blood of His own Son. That
covenant still stands today and “whosoever will may come” to take advantage of
the salvation God offers, which will make them a member of the “Bride of
Christ” to be joined with Him forever some day!
Hallelujah!
Before
we close, I would be remiss if I failed to speak to those who have suffered
through the breakup of one or more marriages. I
said at the beginning of this series that I did not want to project any spirit
of condemnation and judgment.
I
read something as I was studying for this message where the author said,
“Divorce is never justifiable, it is sometimes permissible and always
forgivable.”
If
you’re feeling the weight of guilt because of failed marriages, please seek and
accept the forgiveness of God and the comfort of His love and grace. Don’t
allow any failure in the past to keep you stuck from moving forward in His
grace. Remember a definition for “forgiveness” that I shared quite some time
ago?
“Forgiveness
is giving up all hope for a better past.” Let go and let God pour grace all
over your soul.
As
we close this morning, let us stand together and sing the song that is listed
in the bulletin:
I Have Decided to Follow Jesus
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