A Family Blessing

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This message was given on Mother's Day and it is based on the thought found in Proverbs 31:28, "her children rise up and bless her." The sermon discusses the various uses in Scripture for the word "bless," and then presents some practical ways that husbands and children can bless the wife/mother in the home.

Written Excerpts:

Proverbs 31:28 ^(NKJV) Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: 

Introduction:

(Complete Book of Zingers) Mother's Day is when everybody waits on mother and she pretends she doesn't mind the extra work.

(Draper's Book of Quotations) The commonest fallacy among women is that simply having children makes one a mother—which is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician. – Sydney J. Harris

A CHILD'S PERSPECTIVE – A little boy was talking to the girl next door. "I wonder what my mother would like for Mother's Day." The girl answered, "Well, you could promise to keep your room clean and orderly. You could go to bed as soon as she calls you. You could brush your teeth after eating. You could quit fighting with your brothers and sisters, especially at the dinner table." The boy looked at her and said, "No, I mean something practical." (Illustrations Unlimited)

The message I want to share today is going to overlap some that I have given a few years ago. As I was reading and preparing for today’s message, it seemed very familiar, so after further investigation, I discovered that I gave a sermon for Mother’s Day 3 years ago on this same passage of Scripture.

However, the bulletin was already printed with the scripture and the sermon title, so I decided to proceed.

If anything I say today sounds like you’ve heard it from me before, well, congratulations on having a good memory. (It’s obviously, better than mine!)

Prov. 31:10-31 - The passage starts out, “Who can find a virtuous woman?” Some of the newer translations use different expressions for “virtuous woman.” For example, “wife of noble character,” “worthy woman,” “competent wife,” and “capable wife.”

So, the author is really stressing the rhetorical question, “Where do you find a wife that has such ideal character and qualities?”

Prov. 18:22 – Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord. (NLT, The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.)

In Prov. 31:10, after the initial verse that raises the question, the rest of the chapter proceeds to describe the various qualities of such a woman (wife).

As you read down through these 22 verses, it becomes clear that there is probably no one single woman who exhibits every one of these traits. However, they are described to provide the ideals that God has placed within the heart, mind and conduct of godly women. 

In the original Hebrew OT, this section of chapter 31 was written as an acrostic – that is, each verse starts with a word that begins with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. It was a unique way of emphasizing the message the author intended to convey in Hebrew “poetry.”

The particular part of the chapter that I wanted to emphasize today is near the end – vv. 28, 30 & 31.

In these verses we read about the family members “blessing” and “praising” the woman/wife of noble character.

If you check back through several of the verses prior to verse 28, you will notice how often her husband and her household are mentioned. See: vv. 11, 21, 23, 27.

The phrase gives the idea that the children are pronouncing blessings upon her because of who she is and what she has done. Her husband is praising her for the noble character she has displayed.

I want to do two things in my message today. First, I want to just review the meaning of the words used here – “bless” and “praise.”

Secondly, I want to suggest some ways that we can offer blessings and praise for our wives, mothers, and women in general.

I.          I.  Meaning of Words used.

“bless her” – (Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament) “There are two verbs in Hebrew meaning "to bless." One is bārak and the other ʾāshar. … bārak is used by God when he "blesses" somebody. But there is no instance where ʾāshar is ever on God's lips. When one "blesses" God the verb is bārak, never ʾāshar. One suggestion to explain this sharp distinction, i.e. that ʾāshar is reserved for man, is that ʾāshar is a word of envious desire, "to be envied with desire is the man who trusts in the Lord." God is not man and therefore there are no grounds for aspiring to his state even in a wishful way. Similarly God does not envy man, never desires something man is or has, which he does not have, but would like to have. Therefore God never pronounces man "blessed" (ʾashrê) (Janzen). 

[We do know of a couple of examples where a man is giving a blessing on other people and the word bārak is used, which seems to go against what I’ve just said. One case is Melchizedek blessing Abraham, and the other example is Jacob blessing the sons of Joseph. Yet, based on what we’ve learned about this word, the blessing was considered a blessing from God being passed to men through other men.]

“It should also be pointed out that when bārak is used the initiative comes from God. God can bestow his blessing even when man doesn't deserve it. On the other hand, to be blessed (ʾashrê), man has to do something. 

“Finally, bārak is a benediction, ʾāshar more of a congratulation.” 

So, when her children rise and bless her, they are expressing the thought, “she is to be congratulated. She is to be envied and praised for her accomplishments.”

“husband…praises her” – This is the same Hebrew root word that is used in the word “hallelujah.” In “hallelu-jah,” the ending of the word refers to God. But in Prov. 31:28, the word form has an ending that refers to the woman that is being discussed.

Interestingly, the root meaning of “halal” carries the idea of “giving off light” or “to shine.” It seems that it is meant to convey the idea of shining the spotlight on the admirable qualities of the object being praised. (TWOT & BDB)

When we give praise to God, we “shine” (put the spotlight on) His nature and His wonderful works.

When a husband praises his wife, he puts the spotlight on her qualities and accomplishments.

II.        Ways to bless and praise the women of noble character.

What I have to say here is not directly based on specific scripture references, but I believe it reflects the overall teaching in scripture regarding giving proper respect, honor and praise to those who deserve it.

1.            Fathers, men, if we want our children to bless, (congratulate), and praise their mothers, we need to set the example. 

We need to look for opportunities to praise and congratulate our wives and the mother of our children in front of them so they can learn by example.

Ills. – Years ago, Rev. Whitaker told a story about being a guest at someone’s house and the husband had repeatedly criticized his wife’s work/cooking, etc. At one dinner the man asked Rev. Whitaker, “How do you like that meat?” After Rev. Whitaker replied with a compliment, the husband said, “I picked it out!”

It is a fact. The kind of treatment a man gives to his wife is normally the kind of treatment his children will give her.

2.            Men, we must not only refrain from criticizing and denigrating our wives, especially in front of our children, and we must not tolerate it from our children.

Ills. – I know that things are different today, and this kind of reaction wouldn’t be condoned, but I know what it is like to get a backhand on the mouth from my dad. All it took was for me to sass my mother or say something disrespectful, when he was close enough to reach me at that moment. I’m not saying that slapping a child on the mouth is necessarily the right way to go about it. But, my parents did it to me when I deserved it. Maybe some people have a different opinion than I do, but I don’t think it ruined my character, personality or life as a result. I will say this, it definitely made me a little more careful about how I talked to my mother from then on. I didn’t require too many lessons to learn to be careful how I spoke to her.

3.            We need to focus on the positive more than the negative. Any person is much more willing to hear constructive / instructive criticism when criticism is not the norm. 

4.            Celebrate successes and accomplishments in a way that honors our wives/mothers.

I think it is especially important for children and husbands to bless, praise and honor their mom/wife in front of other people. It is one thing to do it at home, but I think it speaks volumes when we do it publicly.

Conclusion:

There is nothing more important and more powerful than when a child is able to express praise and appreciation for his mother’s faith or Christian conduct.

POWERFUL EVIDENCE UNREFUTED – When Robert Ingersoll, the notorious skeptic, was in his heyday, two college students went to hear him lecture. As they walked down the street after the lecture, one said to the other, "Well, I guess he knocked the props out from under Christianity, didn't he?" The other said, "No, I don't think he did. Ingersoll did not explain my mother's life, and until he can explain my mother's life I will stand by my mother's God." (Illustrations Unlimited)

As we go from this service today, I trust that each one of us will purpose to honor our wives/mothers and women in our lives by giving them the praise they deserve.

Let us all stand together now and sing A Christian Home

We’ve tried to give honor to the moms in our lives this morning. However, I am aware that Mother’s Day is one of those days that always has the potential to bring a fresh sense of sadness and grief to some people for various reasons. 

Closing Prayer (I want to finish our service by reading a prayer that I came across several years ago that was written by a woman specifically for all those that have reasons to experience sadness and grief on Mother’s Day.)