Holy Matrimony - Part 1 (31mb)

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This is the eighth sermon in a series on the Ten Commandments. The message discusses the seventh commandment regarding adultery. The entire sermon was given in two parts. This is part one.

Written Excerpts:

Exodus 20:14   Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Introduction:

Today we are resuming our discussion of the Ten Commandments, and will be taking a look at the seventh commandment, which reads: Thou shalt not commit adultery.

I think I might as well let you know right up front that we probably won’t have time to get through this entire message today, so I’ll have to conclude next week. In case I don’t get a chance to finish today, I should mention that the end of this message includes some vital words of hope and healing for all those caught up in various moral situations that are forbidden by this commandment. So, please be sure to come back for the good news if we don’t have time to get to it today.

In the NKJ translation that was read earlier from Proverbs 5, the woman is described as an “immoral woman.” In the KJV she is called a “strange woman.” In some other modern translations, she is called “an adulteress.” They all mean the same thing.

 

I believe that the breakdown of the home and the destruction of the sanctity of marriage has produced a host of moral and social disasters in our culture that we despair of ever being able to correct in this life. In fact, I am firmly convinced that there is no possible remedy without a major spiritual awakening followed by a revival of biblical values. 
 

A. Negative Meaning: Do not have physical relations with another person’s spouse.

The Hebrew word for adultery in this commandment applies to the physical relations between a man and another man’s wife or between a woman and another woman’s husband. The biblical understanding of this term included those who were “betrothed” (engaged), as well as those who were married, because eastern culture viewed betrothal just as binding as marriage.

B. Positive Principle: The marriage relationship is sacred.

The positive principle behind this commandment advocates the sanctity of marriage. God has ordained marriage as a sacred relationship between a husband and a wife. As such, it is to be honored and guarded from all enemies that would seek to destroy the sacredness of the union.

C. Exposition: How the sanctity of marriage is violated.

There are a number of ways that the sancitity of marriage is violated or assaulted. Let us look at some of those ways.

1. (Most obvious) Any sexual infidelity of a spouse is a direct violation of the sanctity of marriage.

We are living in a day when affairs and infidelity are glamorized and glorified in our godless and sensual society. I read in one book (Dr. Laura Schlessinger, The Ten Commandments) about a magazine article which appeared in the New York Times Magazine (10/12/97). The author of the article stated,

… we’ve grown much more tolerant of adultery, at least when it comes to women. Women’s magazines practically  recommend it to their readers as a fun and healthy activity, like buying a new shade of lipstick, or vacationing in the Caribbean….

Marital infidelity or unfaithfulness is a destructive force in our society. It may be difficult to estimate the number of lives that are spiritually, emotionally and even physically destroyed by this plague. Sadly, the most vulnerable victims from the “fallout” of adultery are our children.

2. All other sexual sins named in the OT or the NT are a violation of the sacredness of marriage.

This includes fornication (physical intimacy before marriage), and sexual perversions such as incest, homosexuality and bestiality.

Jesus stated that all the commandments can be summed up in two: loving God and loving our neighbor. We have stated before that loving God would include Commandments 1-4; and loving our neighbor would include Commandments 5-10. The seventh one is the only one that is related to sexual behavior. The point then is not only adultery, but all sexual sins are a direct assault on the sanctity of marriage.

There are many different Scripture references in the OT books of Exodus & Leviticus and numerous NT books regarding fornication, homosexuality and other sexual sins. According to the Bible, sexual conduct is considered holy and sacred when it is kept within the boundaries of a loving, faithful marriage. Any other sexual conduct is unholy and sinful. In direct contradiction to biblical boundaries, our society has basically promoted a “do as you please” policy.
 

For example, we are living in an age when many couples believe that cohabitating before marriage is the safest way to ensure that a marriage will work. But nothing could be farther from the truth. Researchers stated years ago that approximately 85% of couples who live together before marriage end up getting divorced after marriage. 

3. Non-sexual relationships that include emotional bonding and sensual fantasies violate the sacredness of marriage.

God intended the bond between a husband and a wife to be so strong that they would be united in body, mind and spirit. Intellectual, emotional and spiritual intimacy all work together to enhance physical intimacy as well. The “three-strand cord” is impossible to break when it has been faithfully created and nurtured. Therefore, it is imperative that every husband and wife intentionally develop an emotional and spiritual intimacy together as well as physical intimacy.

Dear friends who are married, we all need to vigorously guard against the emotional attachments that would threaten our devotion and faithfulness to our spouses. I’m convinced that many people who end up in an adulterous affair, never intended to “go that far” but they were careless about the emotional attachments that had been developing over a period of time.

Fantasies can be defined as thoughts that one entertains and nurtures in the mind regarding conduct that he/she does not intend to engage in. Matt. 5:28 Jesus said, Any man who looks on a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

The point is that when one willfully chooses to entertain thoughts of infidelity or promiscuity, he is already guilty of the sin in the sight of God. THIS DOES NOT MEAN “if you think it, you might as well do it.” Certainly the consequences of “doing it” are far worse than not doing it.

Sensual fantasies are fueled by such things as pornography and all types of sexually suggestive media. I feel it is necessary to say something here about modesty in our attire. We must not forget the biological fact that most men are primarily visual rather than emotional or relational.

In speaking out against the immorality and promiscuity of our culture, I may come across as being angry or hard. I don't intend to give that impression; but I am passionate about the assaults on the sacredness of the marriage relationship designed by God.

We will have to continue this discussion next time, but I want to remind you that God has hope and healing available for all those who have been affected in any way by the various violations of this seventh commandment that we have discussed today.

 
Next sermon in this series is: Holy Matrimony - Part Two (link available in blog archive on right)