Holy Matrimony - Part 2 (24 mb)

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This is the ninth sermon in a series on the Ten Commandments. This message discusses the seventh commandment regarding adultery. The sermon was given in two parts. This is part two.

Written Excerpts:

Exodus 20:14   Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Introduction:

If you were here last week you know that we didn’t finish our discussion on the seventh commandment regarding adultery. So, we are continuing that discussion today with the help of God’s Spirit. We mentioned the fact that the commandment, “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” really teaches us the principle that marriage is sacred and holy in the sight of God. That is the reason I chose the title that I did… Holy Matrimony.

Last week we were talking about the kinds of things that are an assault or an attack on the sacredness of marriage and thus would be a violation of the basic principle of this commandment. There were three ways that the sacredness of marriage is violated that we covered last Sunday:

1. Any sexual infidelity of a spouse.

2. All other sexual conduct outside the proper bounds of marriage, which is defined in the Bible as one man and one woman.

3. Emotional bonding and fantasies of the mind that do not include physical intimacy.

Let’s continue our look at the things that violate the sanctity or sacredness of marriage.

4. Divorce and remarriage, as defined in the Bible, violates the sacredness of marriage.

Now I can imagine many of you sending mental messages to me right about now to leave this topic alone and “don’t touch it with a ten-foot pole.” I certainly acknowledge that this has been a controversial topic in church life for years, and it probably will continue to be. However, I don’t believe that the appropriate response is to ignore the issue. If it was important enough for Jesus and the Apostle Paul to speak on, then it’s important enough for us to address it.

Divorce is another plague in America. For years now we have heard the statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce. (Although I read very recently some encouraging facts about that statistic.) The rate of divorce for couples who regularly attend church is about 30%.

Our culture tells us that divorce is the answer to a host of marital problems. Just get out of the marriage and start over again. But, anyone who has ever had to go through a divorce can tell us that there is so much heartache and pain involved with divorce. In some respects, it can be worse than a death.

I know that I don’t have many answers to the questions people have raised about divorce and remarriage. But I know at least two things:

(1) Divorce isn’t the unpardonable sin. God’s grace is able to forgive all the sins of the past whether that includes divorce, adultery or any other transgression of God’s will.

(2) It is absolutely vital that we let our young people know that God intended marriage to be a life-long commitment between one woman and one man. In Matthew 19, when he was asked about the issue of divorce, Jesus replied with the words, “In the beginning it was not so.” He was simply explaining the fact that God’s original design and purpose for marriage was that it be permanent.

 

To all the young people who are here today, I would say to you, do not even approach marriage in the future with the idea that you can quit and start over again if you don’t get it right the first time.

Now, I recognize that fact that there are scores of people who are innocent victims of divorce. They not only entered their marriage with the intention of staying married for life, but they fought hard to keep their marriage intact. However, there were circumstances beyond their control, and their marriage ended against their own desires and efforts. Nevertheless, I re-emphasize my point to our youth. Marriage, as God designed it, is a life-long, permanent commitment. Don’t plan for failure!

This is where all the adults need to say, “Amen!”

D. God’s Remedy: A message of hope and healing.

One of the problems that has developed in the church today, is that far too many people have been so discouraged by the attitudes of others in the church that they just give up hope for a better future.

Let me tell you, dear friends, the church is supposed to be a place of hope and healing. This is supposed to be a “hospital for the spiritually sick and injured.” If we don’t have anything but condemnation to offer, then we might as well close our doors! 

What is the message of hope and healing?

1. God’s forgiving grace goes deeper than the stain of sin.

As I stated before, divorce is not the unpardonable sin, and neither is adultery, fornication or any other sexual sin. The Bible is clear about the grace of God and the forgiveness that is available to anyone and everyone who truly repents and seeks a new life in Christ.

Come now and let us reason together saith the Lord. Though your sins be as scarlet they shall be white as snow. Though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. Isaiah 1:18

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

2. God’s delivering grace is stronger than any temptation or bondage.

1 Cor. 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

1 Cor. 6:11 And such were some of you, but you are washed, …sanctified, …justified.

3. God healing grace mends and restores the broken.

Isaiah 61:1-3 “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

Isaiah 65:17-18 “For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind. ¹⁸But be ye glad and rejoice for ever in that which I create: for, behold, I create Jerusalem a rejoicing, and her people a joy.

After describing judgment and suffering that would come because of their sin, God describes the new creation that would result in rejoicing and joy.

There are innumerable stories of individuals who had completely messed up their lives by their disobedience to God’s commands, but after turning their lives over to the Lord and growing in his grace day-by-day, they have experienced a wonderful rebirth of joy and happiness in life.

If God can create the original universe out of nothing, and create a new heavens and a new earth, then He is certainly able to create beauty from ashes. He is able to renew and restore lives that have been broken and scarred by the consequences of sinful choices.

Conclusion:

As we close this message, I urge all of us to have a renewed commitment to God’s law, and a renewed commitment to “holy matrimony.” I have tried to present a picture that realistically addresses a major problem in our society without being too negative. There are a lot of people in our world who are faithful and true to the Lord and their spouse. I even read a recent statistic in the news stating that the number of youth who are making the decision to save sexual intimacy until they are married has risen by a couple of percentage points in the last year or so.

There are signs for hope.

Let us close our service today by standing together and singing the hymn: "Trust and Obey."

You know, that is the best advice that I can give to anyone who has questions about how to live out this commandment in this modern age.

I know that the standards of the Bible and God’s will are considered “out-of-date” and irrelevant for these days. But I challenge you that if you will just TRUST GOD and OBEY His Word, you will never regret it.

 

 

Next sermon in this series is: What's Mine Is Mine (link available in blog archive on right)

Holy Matrimony - Part 1 (31mb)

(To download an mp3 file of this sermon, click on the title above. To listen now online, click on the play button of the audio player shown above.)

This is the eighth sermon in a series on the Ten Commandments. The message discusses the seventh commandment regarding adultery. The entire sermon was given in two parts. This is part one.

Written Excerpts:

Exodus 20:14   Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Introduction:

Today we are resuming our discussion of the Ten Commandments, and will be taking a look at the seventh commandment, which reads: Thou shalt not commit adultery.

I think I might as well let you know right up front that we probably won’t have time to get through this entire message today, so I’ll have to conclude next week. In case I don’t get a chance to finish today, I should mention that the end of this message includes some vital words of hope and healing for all those caught up in various moral situations that are forbidden by this commandment. So, please be sure to come back for the good news if we don’t have time to get to it today.

In the NKJ translation that was read earlier from Proverbs 5, the woman is described as an “immoral woman.” In the KJV she is called a “strange woman.” In some other modern translations, she is called “an adulteress.” They all mean the same thing.

 

I believe that the breakdown of the home and the destruction of the sanctity of marriage has produced a host of moral and social disasters in our culture that we despair of ever being able to correct in this life. In fact, I am firmly convinced that there is no possible remedy without a major spiritual awakening followed by a revival of biblical values. 
 

A. Negative Meaning: Do not have physical relations with another person’s spouse.

The Hebrew word for adultery in this commandment applies to the physical relations between a man and another man’s wife or between a woman and another woman’s husband. The biblical understanding of this term included those who were “betrothed” (engaged), as well as those who were married, because eastern culture viewed betrothal just as binding as marriage.

B. Positive Principle: The marriage relationship is sacred.

The positive principle behind this commandment advocates the sanctity of marriage. God has ordained marriage as a sacred relationship between a husband and a wife. As such, it is to be honored and guarded from all enemies that would seek to destroy the sacredness of the union.

C. Exposition: How the sanctity of marriage is violated.

There are a number of ways that the sancitity of marriage is violated or assaulted. Let us look at some of those ways.

1. (Most obvious) Any sexual infidelity of a spouse is a direct violation of the sanctity of marriage.

We are living in a day when affairs and infidelity are glamorized and glorified in our godless and sensual society. I read in one book (Dr. Laura Schlessinger, The Ten Commandments) about a magazine article which appeared in the New York Times Magazine (10/12/97). The author of the article stated,

… we’ve grown much more tolerant of adultery, at least when it comes to women. Women’s magazines practically  recommend it to their readers as a fun and healthy activity, like buying a new shade of lipstick, or vacationing in the Caribbean….

Marital infidelity or unfaithfulness is a destructive force in our society. It may be difficult to estimate the number of lives that are spiritually, emotionally and even physically destroyed by this plague. Sadly, the most vulnerable victims from the “fallout” of adultery are our children.

2. All other sexual sins named in the OT or the NT are a violation of the sacredness of marriage.

This includes fornication (physical intimacy before marriage), and sexual perversions such as incest, homosexuality and bestiality.

Jesus stated that all the commandments can be summed up in two: loving God and loving our neighbor. We have stated before that loving God would include Commandments 1-4; and loving our neighbor would include Commandments 5-10. The seventh one is the only one that is related to sexual behavior. The point then is not only adultery, but all sexual sins are a direct assault on the sanctity of marriage.

There are many different Scripture references in the OT books of Exodus & Leviticus and numerous NT books regarding fornication, homosexuality and other sexual sins. According to the Bible, sexual conduct is considered holy and sacred when it is kept within the boundaries of a loving, faithful marriage. Any other sexual conduct is unholy and sinful. In direct contradiction to biblical boundaries, our society has basically promoted a “do as you please” policy.
 

For example, we are living in an age when many couples believe that cohabitating before marriage is the safest way to ensure that a marriage will work. But nothing could be farther from the truth. Researchers stated years ago that approximately 85% of couples who live together before marriage end up getting divorced after marriage. 

3. Non-sexual relationships that include emotional bonding and sensual fantasies violate the sacredness of marriage.

God intended the bond between a husband and a wife to be so strong that they would be united in body, mind and spirit. Intellectual, emotional and spiritual intimacy all work together to enhance physical intimacy as well. The “three-strand cord” is impossible to break when it has been faithfully created and nurtured. Therefore, it is imperative that every husband and wife intentionally develop an emotional and spiritual intimacy together as well as physical intimacy.

Dear friends who are married, we all need to vigorously guard against the emotional attachments that would threaten our devotion and faithfulness to our spouses. I’m convinced that many people who end up in an adulterous affair, never intended to “go that far” but they were careless about the emotional attachments that had been developing over a period of time.

Fantasies can be defined as thoughts that one entertains and nurtures in the mind regarding conduct that he/she does not intend to engage in. Matt. 5:28 Jesus said, Any man who looks on a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

The point is that when one willfully chooses to entertain thoughts of infidelity or promiscuity, he is already guilty of the sin in the sight of God. THIS DOES NOT MEAN “if you think it, you might as well do it.” Certainly the consequences of “doing it” are far worse than not doing it.

Sensual fantasies are fueled by such things as pornography and all types of sexually suggestive media. I feel it is necessary to say something here about modesty in our attire. We must not forget the biological fact that most men are primarily visual rather than emotional or relational.

In speaking out against the immorality and promiscuity of our culture, I may come across as being angry or hard. I don't intend to give that impression; but I am passionate about the assaults on the sacredness of the marriage relationship designed by God.

We will have to continue this discussion next time, but I want to remind you that God has hope and healing available for all those who have been affected in any way by the various violations of this seventh commandment that we have discussed today.

 
Next sermon in this series is: Holy Matrimony - Part Two (link available in blog archive on right)

Image Is Everything (34mb)

(To download an mp3 file of this message, click on the title above. To listen now online, click on the play button of the audio player shown above.)

This is the seventh sermon in a series on the Ten Commandments. This message discusses the sixth commandment regarding murder.

Written Excerpts:

Exodus 20:13 Thou shalt not kill.

Introduction:

Today we are moving on to consider the sixth commandment, which is very simply stated, “You shall not kill.” The intentional or negligent taking of a human life is condemned in the strongest terms by God.

Here are some statistics that I learned on the FBI’s crime statistics website: (http://www2.fbi.gov/ucr/cius2009/offenses/violent_crime/murder_homicide.html)

■An estimated 15,241 persons were murdered nationwide in 2009, which is a 7.3% decrease from the 2008 estimate, a 9.0% decrease from the 2005 figure, and a 2.2% decrease from the 2000 estimate.

■More than 44% (44.8) of murders were reported in the South, the most populous region, with 21.3% reported in the West, 20.0% reported in the Midwest, and 13.9% reported in the Northeast.

The good news in these statistics is that the rate is going down. The bad news is that it still represents a staggering loss of human life through the awful crime of murder.

I suppose that all of us are sitting here thinking that this is one sermon Pastor Les doesn’t really need to preach, because there isn’t anyone in our church that would think about killing someone. Well, I certainly hope that is true. However, I do believe that there are some important lessons we can still learn or take from this commandment that we might not have thought about before.

A.  Negative Meaning: Do not murder.

The sixth commandment simply says, do not kill. The meaning of the Hebrew word as defined and described by most OT scholars is the idea of murder. The command is a prohibition against the intentional and malicious destruction of another human life either through direct means or through negligence.

B.  Positive Meaning: Human life is sacred.

Several of the verses that we read earlier in our Scripture reading today related to the fact that God has created man in His image and therefore human life is sacred. That truth is expanded in many ways throughout the Bible. The simple fact is that everyone who has any desire at all to follow God’s Word and God’s will should have a high regard for the lives of our fellow human beings.

C.  Exposition:

Lessons that we learn from the proper understanding of this command include:

1.  Any violence or negligence that results in the loss of a human life is a violation of this command.

Death that resulted from a plot or plan that could be described as “lying in wait,” was definitely included in this command. (e.g., Cain and Abel)

In addition to deliberate actions taken to end someone’s life, we also learn from Exodus 21:29 and Deut. 22:8 that any death that results from negligence is also included in this command. In these passages, the examples include: someone who was killed by an ox, but the owner knew that the ox was prone to gore with its horns and didn’t take necessary precautions to have the animal confined; or someone who didn’t build a suitable barrier around the roof of his house to prevent another from accidentally falling to his death.

In all these cases which might be classified as some form of “homicide,” the punishment defined by God in the OT was death or “capital punishment.” Capital punishment emphasized the fact that anyone who negligently or deliberately destroys life, must suffer the destruction of his own life because “he has destroyed that which represents the image of God on earth.”

Passive inaction to defend life is prohibited. See Lev. 19:16 where “stand against the blood…” is interpreted by some as “stand aside while your fellow’s blood is shed.”

Suicide – (K&D) The omission of the object still remains to be noticed, as showing that the prohibition includes not only the killing of a fellow-man, but the destruction of one’s own life, or suicide.

2.  This command does not include certain cases of death.

a. Self-defense     Exodus 22:2 – This case speaks specifically about a thief that is breaking in at night and is struck so that he dies.

b. Accidental death      Deut. 19:4ff – Someone accidentally kills a man when ax head flies off. He can go to city of refuge to avoid the “avenger of blood.”

c. Capital Punishment    Gen. 9:6 – whoever sheds man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed. Also, Numbers 35 describes the task of the “avenger of blood.”  Romans 13: Talks about the civil authorities are ordained for the punishment of evil and “do not bear the sword in vain.”

d. War      Deut. 20 – talks about specific rules of engagement God gave for war. Also, Romans 13 could apply to the situation of war i.e. “punishment of evil.”

In all of these specific situations the slayer was viewed differently because the death was either accidental or it was within God-given guidelines for the destruction of evil in the world.

3. This command emphasizes the value of human life.

(K&D) Life is placed at the head of these [last 5] commandments… because it is the basis of human existence, and [by attacking] the life the personality is attacked, and in that the image of God (Gen 9:6).

Before one gets very far in the first book of the Bible, we find the basis for the severity of punishment God ordained for those who violated this commandment. In Genesis 9:6 we are informed that whoever sheds innocent blood is to be put to death himself. Why? Because man is made in the image of God and any attack on the life of a human being is an attack on the image of God in this world.

Human beings are the only creatures in this world that have been described as being made in the image of God. There is no other creature on earth as valuable and precious in the sight of God as a human life. So you see, as I have stated in the title of this message, “Image IS Everything!” Without that image of God within each one of us, we are nothing more than an animal.

The Bible clearly teaches that God is the author of human life, so therefore only God has the ultimate right to take human life. We have emphasized this point at other special church services, but this inherent value in the life of a human being speaks to the issues of abortion, euthanasia and other important human rights issues of our world and society.

4.  This command applies to words and attitudes that violate human dignity and value.

For the Christian who is not only trying to follow the Ten Commandments, but to also follow the principles and teachings of our Lord and the Apostles in the NT, we must realize the ways in which Jesus and the Apostles applied this commandment.

Abusive and derogatory talk directed toward one another is addressed by Jesus, Paul and John. However, it is not just a New Testament addition to this commandment. These applications show up first in the OT book of Leviticus. See Leviticus 19:14-18.

a. Malicious slander and gossip.

b. Verbal attacks that reveal inner anger and hatred.

In Matthew 5:21ff, Jesus informs us that anger within one’s heart that finds expression in abusive language towards another person is the seed of murder. The actual definitions and complete explanation of Jesus’ words here can be examined at another time, but the point in His statement is this…

Anger and hatred within our hearts toward another person that finds expression in verbal outbursts that attack the worth and dignity of that person is equivalent to what I would call “verbal homicide.” (Including slander and gossip.) The reason I have classified it as “verbal homicide” is because these kinds of words have the power to kill the very spirit and self dignity within a person that convinces them or others that they have no worth or value in the eyes of God. This is especially true when it involves a child. These kinds of verbal abuse or outbursts can have the power to convince the victim that their life is worthless in the eyes of God, especially when those words come from a parent.

1 John 3:14-17, the Apostle John talks about the evidence of spiritual life in the believer and that evidence is a genuine love for our “brother.” John adamantly states that anyone who hates his brother is a murderer. He then goes on to describe conduct that would, by its very connection in the context here, help define what kinds of behavior constitutes hatred toward one’s brother. That includes, having the ability to help someone in dire need, but not doing anything about it.

Conclusion:

As I stated at the outset of this message, probably most of us feel like this message doesn’t really apply to me, because I have never killed anyone, nor ever thought about killing anyone. Yet, as we have pointed out here in the last few minutes, the commandment as applied by Jesus and the Apostle John does include more than literal murder.

We must be careful about our heart attitudes and our verbal communication towards one another and about one another. According to these principles, we can be guilty of murder in our hearts if there is hatred and bitter anger towards another human being.

Next sermon in this series is: Holy Matrimony - Part One (link available in blog archive on right)