How Heavy Is Your Dad? (33mb)

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This is the sixth message in a series of sermons on the Ten Commandments. This message covers the fifth commandment about honoring one's parents.

Written Excerpts:

Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. (NKJV)

Introduction:

Would you agree that we are living in a culture where there has been a great loss of respect and honor for parents and for authority in general? Would you also agree that our society seems to flaunt rebellion against authority and the breakdown of meaningful relationships?

Our message today continues the series of messages on the Ten Commandments which all contain important principles God has provided in order for us to experience a life that is filled with joy and true happiness. Why? Because we are living them the way He designed.

V.        Honor your father and your mother.

A.        Negative Meaning: Do not disrespect your parents.

As we have been doing with the previous commandments, we want to take a look at some of the key words in the Scripture passages in order to get a better understanding of the meaning God intended.

“Honor” – The O.T. Hebrew word here carries the basic meaning of “to be heavy, or weighty,” a meaning which is only rarely used literally, the figurative use is more common. It implies the idea of a person that is a “weighty” person in society; honorable; impressive; or worthy of respect. (Theological Wordbook of the OT)

In the Ephesians 6 passage (verse 2), the Greek word that is translated “honor” is a word that literally means: “set a price on,” “estimate,” or “value.” (Wuest)

B.        Positive Principle: Family structures are sacred.

I believe that the primary positive principle that is taught with this command is that God has specifically designed the appropriate structures for families and therefore, they are sacred, or holy.

I also believe there are at least two more subordinate principles that this command covers. First, because family structures are sacred, we understand that relationships are of highest value. Second, because family structures are sacred, we understand that chain-of-command, or authority structures are also very important.

I add these “subordinate principles” because I don’t believe any of the other Commandments address these issues that are certainly emphasized elsewhere in God’s Word.

C.        Exposition:

There are at least three lessons that I think we need to learn as we talk about the proper exposition of this commandment

1.  This command requires that we value our parents and increase the influence of our parents.

If we go back for a moment to review what we said about the definition of the Hebrew word, it carried the idea of making someone a “weighty” person. The idea expressed is that in everything a child does the respect of their parents is at stake, and God says do everything you can to make your parents “heavy” or “weighty.”  Conversely, do not do anything or say anything, etc., to reduce your parents’ “weight” or respect in the community.

With this understanding of what it means to honor someone, then our responsibility and our ability to perform the requirements of this command do not end when we become adults ourselves. We still bring either respect and honor or shame and disgrace whether we are children, young adults, middle-aged adults or even senior citizens. Actually, this aspect of honor continues even after our parents are dead and gone.

If we properly understand the impact of this emphasis, then we will understand that it not only has to do with how I behave toward my parents when I am around them and at home with them, but it also applies (and perhaps we could say it especially applies) to my behavior when I am away from them with my friends and going about my business in the community.

I remember one time I got in trouble in high school (maybe I should say one of the times I got in trouble! L). I can still remember the principal asking me, “What would your parents think if I called them and told them what you did?” Believe you me, I instantly sent up a prayer that thankfully was answered! In reality, what he was really asking was this: “What kind of parents do you have anyway?” In the eyes of that principal at that moment, my behavior had reflected very badly on the reputation of my parents.

We have just covered the O.T. emphasis. The N.T. word for “honor” adds the concept of giving an evaluation or appraisal of someone or something and giving them the proper esteem, respect and value that God says we should.

(Wuest) “To honor someone therefore is to evaluate that person accurately and honestly, and treat him with the deference, respect, reverence, kindness, courtesy, and obedience which his station in life or his character demands.”

Now, I recognize that some people have real problems right here, because they have had parents that really didn’t deserve respect and honor no matter how you “slice it.” So, that brings me to the second lesson from this command.

2.  This command emphasizes the importance of relationships in all facets of life.

I’m convinced that the Bible is very clear about one thing: God is not merely interested in conformity to rules. God is infinitely concerned with motives and attitudes and other aspects of life that accompany the rules. I don’t believe you can read through the Bible and cover all the references that pertain to parent and child issues without coming to the conclusion that people are more important than rules.

Look at Ephesians chapters 5 & 6. Verses 1-2 of chapter 6 deals with how children are to respond to parents and parents to children, but if you look at the whole context beginning with 521, the whole passage talks about submission, respect, honor and service that should govern the lives of parents, wives, husbands, children, slaves (workers) and masters (employers).

The emphasis comes out very clearly that we must remember that these individuals are not just parents, but they are brothers and sisters in Christ. These are not just my children, but they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. And so with masters and slaves. Why? Because even though positions are important, they aren’t as important as the people in those positions.

The reason children need to honor and respect their parents, is because it fosters wholesome and godly relationships. The reason parents (fathers) are instructed, “Do not provoke your children to anger,” is because it will nurture and develop a wholesome relationship that can remain beautiful and valuable for a lifetime.

The reason employers and workers are to give the proper respect to each other is because they are both valuable and equal in the sight of God. To do otherwise destroys any potential for a wholesome and beautiful example of how God can bond people together in godly relationships.

Because of this, we agree with the common truth that “respect isn’t something that can be merely demanded or required, but true respect and honor must be earned.” You can force someone to obey you, but that doesn’t mean that they will respect you.

The third and final lesson I believe we can learn from this command is…

3.  This command emphasizes the need for and the importance of authority structures.

I’ve already stated that the primary principle here has to do with family structures. However, if you read through the Bible in both the O.T. and the N.T. you will find that God has a lot to say about authority structures in every area of life. Someone has identified four different authority structures that are taught in Scripture: family, government, church, and business (employment).

Where would our society or any society be today if there were no authority structures and chain-of-command to follow? God designed it all for a reason and a purpose in order to produce an orderly and productive society and world. Without some type of structure that includes authority, we would have chaos in every strata or level of our society and culture.

So this fifth commandment addresses that need by pointing out the first and most basic authority structure – the family. Someone has to have the final word. Someone has to have the final responsibility. And, in order to have this work properly, all those in the chain-of-command under the head must recognize the importance of harmonious cooperation based on proper honor and respect of those who are over us. When authority and respect breaks down in the home, it breaks down in every other level of society.

Conclusion:

As we bring this message to a close, I know that there are those here today who have experienced the pain of abuse from those who were in authority, whether in the home, the school, at work, etc. The horrible actions of some of them in no way can be justified, no matter how you look at it.

Because of that you still struggle today with being able to properly show honor and respect to that person or persons. If you were honest, you would admit that you have no desire to improve their reputation or their “weight” in the community. They don’t deserve it. I know I can’t take the time today to address all of those concerns, except to say that if you struggle with those issues, God cares and He offers healing for you.

On the other hand, the actions of some very bad people doesn’t destroy or do away with the original plan and intent that God has for our lives. His plan is still the best. Sin, disobedience and rebellion against God has always marred relationships that God intended to be beautiful and harmonious.

If you’re struggling with issues, listen to the words of this closing hymn: Saviour, Like a Shepherd Lead Us.

Next sermon in this series is: Image Is Everything (link available in blog archive on right)