Seeking Jesus

This is a sermon that was given on March 8, 2015 and is the first of four sermons during Lent taking us up to the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus.

Psalm 107:9 (NKJV)
⁹  For He satisfies the longing soul, And fills the hungry soul with goodness.

Introduction:

About 1 ½ weeks ago we entered into the season of Lent on the church calendar. Lent starts with Ash Wednesday and concludes on the day before Easter. It is a period of 40 days (not counting Sundays, because Sunday is always considered a celebration of the resurrection), and it was a period devoted to repentance, prayer and fasting. Some believe that 40 days was designated as the length of the Lenten season in order to correspond with the 40 days Jesus fasted in the wilderness before the beginning of his ministry.

You may or may not know this, but for three different Sundays I have attempted to preach a sermon titled, “Loving Jesus.” Obviously God had other plans. I was beginning to wonder if I should scrap that message! Instead of scrapping the sermon, I have decided to postpone it for another couple of weeks. (If we get a snow storm on that Sunday, then you know what’s going to happen to that sermon!)

I feel that the Lord gave me an idea for a short series of topical messages to use during the Lenten season leading up to Easter. The message I had planned to use before will now be a part of that series.

The series will begin today with the title “Seeking Jesus” and will also include messages on “Knowing Jesus;” “Loving Jesus;” and “Serving/Worshiping Jesus.” All of these messages will focus on the idea of taking time and putting forth the effort to draw closer to the Lord in this season leading up to the celebration of the resurrection.

There are three observations about seeking Jesus that I want to focus on today.

1. Spiritual thirst/hunger is the beginning of our search.

a. Man was created with a spiritual hunger.

Perhaps you have heard others make reference to the idea that we humans were created with a “God-shaped hole in our hearts” that cannot be adequately filled or satisfied with anything else but Him. I don’t know of any verse in the Bible that teaches that specific concept, but we do know from Scripture that every human being is created with a soul and a spirit.

Theologians believe that it is the spirit of man that enables him to have contact/communication with God, and distinguishes him from animals. On that basis, we would conclude that God created man with the capacity and the desire for a spiritual connection that is higher than himself.

b. Man was created with the gift of choice.

The story of creation includes the fact that God gave our very first parents the ability to choose whether they were going to obey Him or not. The privilege of choice is accompanied with great responsibility. Every one of us will be judged according to what we have done with our opportunities to choose God’s way or our own way. Every one of us will be accountable for our responses to each opportunity God has provided for us to satisfy our God-given spiritual hunger.

c. Man has a history of fighting against the created hunger.

Psalm 14:2-3 (NKJV) The LORD looks down from heaven upon the children of men, To see if there are any who understand, who seek God. ³  They have all turned aside, They have together become corrupt; There is none who does good, No, not one.

In reference to these words of the Psalmist, the Apostle Paul concludes: Romans 3:11 There is none who understands; There is none who seeks after God.

Paul uses these convicting words to argue for the fact that every human being is guilty of sin and stands before God without excuse.

Dear friends, God created us with a spiritual hunger and that hunger must be nurtured in order to seek the Lord. Regardless of what your level of spiritual hunger and thirst may be at this time, it can get stronger and this season of Lent is a great time to stimulate that appetite and develop a greater hunger for God.

2. Intensity of search determines success.

The Bible is full of examples that demonstrate God’s activity in seeking fallen humanity. The whole story of redemption and the coming of Christ into our world is nothing more than God doing everything necessary to “seek and save that which was lost.” Yet, He gives us the responsibility to seek Him. And we have evidence in Scripture that it is only whole-hearted seeking that will be rewarded.

Jeremiah 29:13 (NKJV) And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

When Jesus Himself was teaching and preaching during His earthly ministry, we are told that He often spoke in parables. Some of His parables were simple to understand and “get the point” while others were rather vague. In fact, when asked by some of the disciples why He spoke in parables, Jesus responded by saying,

Matthew 13:13-16 (NKJV) Therefore I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. ¹⁴  And in them the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled, which says: 'Hearing you will hear and shall not understand, And seeing you will see and not perceive; ¹⁵  For the hearts of this people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing, And their eyes they have closed, Lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, Lest they should understand with their hearts and turn, So that I should heal them.' ¹⁶  "But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear;

This answer seems to indicate that Jesus deliberately framed His messages at times to appeal more to the ones in the audience who possessed a strong enough desire to seek God and seek the truth that they would earnestly inquire to know more and understand more. But, to the people who were only half-hearted in their quest for spiritual truth, His messages seemed uninteresting or too deep and too confusing.

In my years of ministry I’ve met people who admit that their spiritual understanding was very limited and it was very hard for them to grasp biblical truths and concepts. There is nothing wrong with that and it is a fairly normal condition. The thing that often frustrated me and saddened me was the fact that many of those same people demonstrated little or no desire to get serious or diligent about trying to understand or trying to learn.

They seemed completely satisfied to shrug it off and go on their way, seeking satisfaction in everything else except the one Person who could satisfy their longing – Jesus Christ.

As we approach the time when we once again commemorate the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus, let us all purpose to get serious about seeking Christ and all that He desires to bestow upon those who desire Him.

3. Satisfaction of desire is the result of diligent seeking.

I’m so happy I can proclaim on the authority of God’s Word that “…he that asks receives, and he that seeks finds and to him that knocks it shall be opened.”

Psalm 107:9 (NKJV) For He satisfies the longing soul, And fills the hungry soul with goodness.

Jesus said, “Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled.”

In our Scripture reading earlier in the service we heard,

Psalm 34:10 (NKJV) The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing.

2 Chronicles 7:14 (KJV) If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Luke 11:13 (KJV) If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit [i.e. Jesus Himself] to them that ask him?

Hear it!

Believe it!

Live it!

Amen.

Let’s close the service by singing a hymn that is a prayer for God to fill us with His Holy Spirit.

A Well-Founded Confidence

(To download an mp3 file of this sermon, click on the title above. To listen now online, click on the play button of the audio player shown.)

This is a sermon that was given on February 21, 2016 regarding Psalm 46. It speaks comfort and confidence to those who are experiencing adversity.

Written Text:

Introduction:

As you can see in the bulletin, the topic of the message today is “Confidence.”

Confidence is that quiet, assured feeling you get just before you fall flat on your face. (Phillips' Treasury of Humorous Quotations) That quote may be true in the natural human world of experience, but today we want to examine the concept of trust and confidence in the spiritual life.

The passage of Scripture that I felt impressed to use today is one that has inspired hope and confidence in countless believers down through the years. It is said to be the passage of Scripture that inspired Martin Luther’s hymn: A Mighty Fortress.

(Believer's Bible Commentary) - During the First World War in an island community in the highlands of Scotland, young men were being called up in increasing numbers for military service. Each time contingents of them gathered at the pier to sail to the mainland, their relatives and friends assembled there and sang… [Psalm 46 from the Scottish Psalter].

All Christians go through trials and circumstances that tests their faith to the limit. Therefore, it is necessary and important for us to find comfort and hope for our souls from time to time. I know you’ve all heard some of these verses many times and many of you probably have quoted them yourself in periods of stress and adversity.

Oswald Chambers - Confidence in the natural world is self-reliance, in the spiritual world it is God-reliance. (Draper's Book of Quotations for the Christian World)

Let’s turn our attention to the words of Psalm 46 and renew our confidence and hope in the Lord of heaven and earth.

Background Information about the Psalm

The opening “title” of the Psalm states that it is a psalm of the “Sons of Korah” and “for Alamoth.”

“Alamoth” – is a word that indicates female voices, i.e. sopranos, or it could be referring to “tenor” voices singing in “falsetto” which was common in Hebrew music.

When was the Psalm written? Or, what was the occasion?

Several authors place the time and occasion coinciding with 2 Chron. 20.

Keil and Delitzsch Commentary - When, during the reign of Jehoshaphat, the Moabites, Ammonites, and Edomites (… 2 Chron. 20:1…) carried war into the kingdom of David and threatened Jerusalem, the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziël the Asaphite in the temple congregation which the king had called together, and he prophesied a miraculous deliverance on the morrow. Then the Levite singers praised the God of Israel with jubilant voice, viz., singers … out of the family of Korah. On the following day Levite singers in holy attire and with song went forth before the army of Jehoshaphat. The enemy, surprised by the attack of another plundering band of the sons of the desert, had turned their weapons against one another, being disbanded in the confusion of flight, and the army of Jehoshaphat found the enemy's camp turned into a field of corpses….

There’s probably no way to know for sure if this is the time that Psalm 46 was composed, but the evidence is pretty convincing. There are others who think it could have been inspired by the miraculous slaughter of the Assyrian army led by Sennacherib.

With this background in mind, let us examine more closely the claims that the authors were making about God.

There are three distinct sections to the Psalm. As we discuss each section, I borrowed an outline by G. Campbell Morgan which is mentioned in the Believer's Bible Commentary and I adapted it for our purposes.

I.       The challenge of confidence: Do not fear. (vv. 1-3)

Psalm 46:1-3 (NKJV) ¹ God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. ² Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; ³ Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling.

In verse 2, the Psalmist proclaims “we will not fear.”

Fear is a common enemy of every individual. Fear is a result of giving in to our doubts. The challenge for every believer, whether ancient Jew or modern Christian, is to continually believe that God is presently with us.

The wording of v. 1 indicates that God is a place of safety; a strong fortress to which one may resort when under attack. Not only is God a place of safety and a strong fortress, but He is the source of power and strength. He has proven Himself to be a constant helper in times of trouble and adversity.

The word “present” can mean – come forth, appear, to meet, etc. Seems to portray the thought that God has previously proven that He comes forth or appears whenever there are times of trouble, opposition and adversity.

The sons of Korah knew what they were singing about because of the rich history of Israel and the many, many times God appeared on their behalf during times of trouble. Because of who God is, the believer is able to overcome his/her fear, no matter how severe the trouble. (Even if the earth is removed and the mountains are moved to the seas.) But the challenge goes out to all of us – do we really believe that God is all these things for us?

II.    The secret of confidence:   God is in control. (vv. 4-7)

Psalm 46:4-7 (NKJV) ⁴ There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High. ⁵ God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God shall help her, just at the break of dawn. ⁶ The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved; He uttered His voice, the earth melted. ⁷ The LORD of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge.

(Tyndale Commentaries) The first stanza uses the metaphor of unruly waters overwhelming the land, even the mountains, to depict utter chaos, but in the second stanza the waters are under control, a river whose streams make glad the city of God. The city of God is Jerusalem, where the temple is located on the heights of Zion. It is a holy, or consecrated, place, because God (the Most High) makes his presence known there…. Jerusalem does not have, and never had, a river running through it, so this river is figurative, not literal. The river symbolizes the spiritual sustenance that God’s presence provides….

(Wesleyan Bible Commentary) - In contrast to the terror such chaotic seas might produce [v.3], those in God's city are gladdened by a river (46:4a). Jerusalem had no river running through it, but it had something better, a faithful God living in His holy house (46:4b). With God in residence, there is no fear of chaos.

The real secret to having the kind of confidence this Psalmist is describing is to understand that God is here and He is in control. No raging nation or any other danger is capable of overcoming Him or His Kingdom.

This stanza ends with the assurance that the Lord of hosts (the armies of heaven) is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge (fortress, place of safety and security).

Dear friends, you and I can have confidence and hope if we know the secret – God is still in control and He always will be. We don’t know what the future holds. The nations will surely rage as it says in v. 6, but even if all the nations of the world rage together, God will still be in control!

III.   The vindication of confidence: God wins. (vv. 8-11)

Psalm 46:8-11 (NKJV) ⁸ Come, behold the works of the LORD, Who has made desolations in the earth. ⁹ He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two; He burns the chariot in the fire. ¹⁰ Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! ¹¹ The LORD of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge.

The 3^rd and final stanza of this poem emphasizes the victory that God gains over all His enemies.

(Believer's Bible Commentary) By the time we get to verse 8 the tumult and cataclysms have ended. Man's day is over. Now the King is seated upon His throne in Jerusalem. We are invited to go out and examine the field of His victory. Everywhere we look we see the wreckage of His defeated foes. Everywhere lies the evidence of the awful judgments which have descended on the world during the Tribulation and at His glorious appearing.

46:9 But now that the Prince of Peace is enthroned, wars have ceased throughout the world. What councils and leagues and summits have been helpless to achieve, the Lord Jesus brings about by His iron rod.

46:10 (Wesleyan Bible Commentary) Be still and know that I am God. These may be words of comfort to His people; more likely He is commanding the nations to "desist" and "acknowledge" that He is God. His lordship over the earth has been demonstrated in this psalm (see 46:2, 6); here He proclaims it himself. To this, His people enthusiastically respond,

The Lord Almighty is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress (46:11).

In this last stanza, all those who have placed their confidence and trust in God are vindicated as God declares victory over His enemies and peace has finally come. It seems to me that this stanza is more prophetic in nature as we do not know of any period in history when this kind of peace has literally been achieved. Regardless, it is a vivid picture of a victorious God over the forces of evil. Peace has been ushered in by the Prince of Peace.

Conclusion:

We have been talking about confidence that believers can have in their hearts about the present and the future.

The challenge of confidence is to surrender our fear.

The secret of confidence is the knowledge that God is in control.

And, the vindication of confidence is the victory that God has gained and will gain over all the raging nations and enemies of righteousness.

For each of us today, our confidence remains in God and the knowledge that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

I want to close by sharing some quotes from different authors concerning the topic of trust and confidence.

A. W. Thorold - The highest pinnacle of the spiritual life is not happy joy in unbroken sunshine, but absolute and undoubting trust in the love of God. (Draper's Book of Quotations)

William Arthur Ward - God wants us to be victors, not victims; to grow, not grovel; to soar, not sink; to overcome, not to be overwhelmed. (Draper's Book of Quotations)

A. W. Tozer - What we need very badly these days is a company of Christians who are prepared to trust God as completely now as they know they must do at the last day. For each of us the time is coming when we shall have nothing but God. Health and wealth and friends and hiding places will be swept away, and we shall have only God. To the man of pseudo faith that is a terrifying thought, but to real faith it is one of the most comforting thoughts the heart can entertain. (Draper's Book of Quotations)

Do you have this confidence in God that the Psalmist is describing? You can, if you will surrender your life to Him and quit trusting in your own power and abilities. Rest in the knowledge that the Creator and Sustainer of the universe is a place of security for you.

Our closing hymn that I’ve chosen for today is a song about a place of safety in the storms of life: A Shelter in the Time of Storm.

Biblical Principles for Marriage - Part VI

(To download an mp3 file of this message, click on the title above. To listen now online, click on the play button of the audio player shown.)

This is the sixth and final message in a series of messages talking about biblical principles that help define God's view of marriage. This sermon speaks about the bond of love that holds the union together, and it was given on Valentine's Day - February 14, 2016.

Written Excerpts:                  The Bond of Marriage is Love

Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her

Introduction:

As I have stated for the past 5 weeks, Focus on the Family organization encouraged churches and pastors to use this day to honor marriage. Marriage has been under attack in our culture, and by government decree, it has come to mean something that probably most of us never dreamed it would include. We’ve been doing a series of messages about marriage in which we have been trying to explain different principles that comprise a biblical definition of marriage.

Today, we are going to conclude the series by first of all looking at a passage of Scripture that speaks specifically about honoring marriage. Then, we are going to take the rest of the time to talk about the final principle that defines marriage.

I.      Marriage is to be held in honor.

Hebrews 13:4 (NKJV) Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

A. Statement or command?

The very first phrase of this verse is constructed in Greek so that it can be interpreted as a statement of fact (marriage is honored/honorable) or as a command (let marriage be honored).

Many Bible teachers I consulted understand it to be a command. In direct opposition to the standards and trends of the current culture, the author of Hebrews is raising a standard of morality here and affirming that marriage ought to be honored among all people. It was a direct answer to both extremes of morality that was common in that day.

On the one hand, there were those who upheld a very ascetic or Spartan lifestyle that viewed physical intimacy as something evil and morally impure. But the apostle is boldly proclaiming the opposite to be the case. On the other hand, the society was rampant with those who practiced all kinds of sexual immorality. For those people and for the Christians who had become lax in their moral standards, the apostle was reminding them to give honor to marriage.

B. Give marriage its due.

“honor” – depending on the context, the word means to value, pay tribute money, or esteem.

The biblical author is urging his readers to raise marriage up to the level of esteem and worth that God originally intended. Going against the standards of the world, he proclaims the “marriage bed” (physical intimacy within marriage) is to be kept “undefiled” (unsoiled).

(Lenski New Testament Commentary) - The defilements that dishonor marriage are fornication, which dishonors marriage in advance, and adultery, which dishonors marriage after it has been entered into.

Let us move on to finish the principles of marriage that we have been exploring each week.

II.    The bond of marriage is love.

Two weeks ago we presented the principle that marriage is the union of spirit, soul and body between two people – husband and wife.

We suggested then that marriage is not merely about two people who have completed the necessary paperwork to legally live together as husband and wife. There is an additional element in the union that glues the two together – genuine love.

We can’t talk about marriage, especially on Valentine’s Day, without bringing up the subject of love.

A. What is love anyway?

I’m sure most of us have heard about the three kinds of love defined by three common Greek words, eros (erotic, sensual, lust), philia (family, affection, kindness and compassion toward), and agape (divine love, self-sacrificing, unconditional). Out of the three, eros is the only one that is not mentioned in the NT.

In the books and articles written by people, I suspect there are probably just about as many different definitions of love as there are authors, maybe more!

Love is that funny feeling you feel when you feel that you have a feeling you have never felt before.  (Phillips' Treasury of Humorous Quotations)

Well, that clears it up doesn’t it?

The Bible certainly has a lot to say about love, some of which we will be looking at shortly.

 (The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia) - While the Hebrew and Greek words for "love" have various shades and intensities of meaning, they may be summed up in some such definition as this: Love, whether used of God or man, is an earnest and anxious desire for and an active and beneficent interest in the well-being of the one loved.  Different degrees and manifestations of this affection are recognized in the Scriptures according to the circumstances and relations of life, e.g. the expression of love as between husband and wife, parent and child, brethren according to the flesh, and according to grace; between friend and enemy, and, finally, between God and man.  

(Pocket Dictionary of Theological Terms) - ….Many Christian thinkers suggest that the essence of love is unconditional giving of oneself for the sake of others.

B. Christians are commanded to love.

There are various passages in the Bible that instruct Christians on how and when to demonstrate love.

Love God; Love our brother (fellow Christians); Love our enemies; Love our spouses, etc., etc.

Today, we want to remind you of a text in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”

Some people don’t really understand what it means to love. I read a story about…

A woman was suffering from depression, so her concerned husband took her to a psychiatrist. The doctor listened to the couple talk about their relationships, and then said, "The treatment I prescribe is really quite simple." With that he went over to the man's wife, gathered her up in his arms, and gave her a big kiss. He then stepped back and looked at the woman's glowing face and broad smile. Turning to the woman's husband, he said, "See! That's all she needs to put new life back into her." The clueless husband said, "OK, Doc, I can bring her in on Tuesdays and Thursdays." (Illustrations Unlimited.)

How does a husband (or wife) love their spouse?

The passage of Scripture that was read earlier in the service certainly provides some insight.

See 1 Cor. 13.

The passage begins by affirming the importance of love. It is so important, that any other gallant effort attempted amounts to nothing (zero) if it is not accompanied with genuine love.

After that opening, the apostle describes all the qualities of genuine love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NKJV) ⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Let's read the passage over again from the Amplified Bible for an expanded meaning of the text.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (AMP) ⁴ Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. ⁵ It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. ⁶ It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. ⁷ Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

Listen to these definitions that various authors have offered, which were published in, Draper's Book of Quotations. Most of them really describe what Paul was talking about in 1 Cor. 13.

C. S. Lewis – Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.

M. Scott Peck – Love is an action, an activity. It is not a feeling.

Margaret Anderson – In real love you [desire] the other person's good. In romantic love you [desire] the other person.

Joseph Fletcher – Erotic [love] and philia love are emotional. Christian love [agape] is an attitude, not feeling.

Madeleine L'Engle – Agape love is... profound concern for the well-being of another, without any desire to control that other, to be thanked by that other, or to enjoy the process.

Thomas à Kempis – A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver.

Conclusion:

In closing, let me remind you that the union of a man and woman in spirit, soul and body is held together with the bond of love. It includes romance and feelings, but it is so much more than that. The Apostle Paul says it’s the same kind of love that God has for us.

The Supreme Court of the United States recently affirmed what the loudest voices in society have been saying, “You should be able to marry the one you love!” However, the imperative of Scripture is, “Love the one you marry!”

Remember, in some cultures, the marriages were somewhat, if not totally, arranged. This would have been true in the OT and possibly for the areas where Paul wrote his letters.

(Manners and Customs of Bible Lands) - Orientals would say that husband and wife love each other, because God through the parents, selected them for each other. In other words, the usual Oriental idea is that love comes after marriage.

In this arrangement, there was little or no opportunity to have a romantic kind of relationship prior to marriage. There was no such thing as “infatuation” or passion (except in the case of Samson). However, those situations did not release the spouses from the command to love, especially for the husband to love the wife. (Presumably because she didn’t have as much choice in her marriage partner as he did.) I believe that Paul is saying, if husbands will love their wives as Christ loves the church, which is the kind of love described in 1 Cor. 13, then the wives would reciprocate with mutual love and respect.

Finally, this love we’ve been talking about is only possible if we have the presence of God and His love in our hearts.

Oswald Chambers – There is only one being who loves perfectly, and that is God, yet the New Testament distinctly states that we are to love as God does; so the first step is obvious. If ever we are going to have perfect love in our hearts we must have the very nature of God in us. (Draper's Book of Quotations)

Let us end the service today by singing the hymn that is listed in the bulletin: A Christian Home

Biblical Principles for Marriage - Part V

(To download an mp3 file of this sermon, click on the title above. To listen online, click on the play button of the audio player here.)

This is the fifth sermon in a series of messages on marriage. It was given on Feb. 7, 2016 at Wayside Community Church.

Written Excerpts:

Matthew 19:5-6 (NKJV) ⁵ … 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? ⁶ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

Introduction:

Today we are continuing the series of messages on the sanctity of marriage with this 5^th sermon of the series.

First, for those who may not have been here before now, the idea for the series was founded in a request from a Christian organization called, Focus on the Family, for pastors and churches to use Valentine’s Day as a Sunday to honor marriage in our nation’s churches. Therefore, I felt impressed to do a series of messages on marriage leading up to the 14^th of February.

In the first message, I gave several phrases that characterize the principles of the marriage relationship as defined in the Bible, then I concluded it by giving a definition of marriage that incorporated those principles.

The principles we’ve discussed so far include:

Marriage is gender specific – one man and one woman.

Marriage is a complementary partnership – each spouse living out their God-given roles as a team to divide their weaknesses and multiply their strengths.

Marriage is a union of spirit, soul and body – complete intimacy of the entire personality.

Now, we are going to talk about the next principle that we presented.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment or covenant.

It is a sad fact that many people do not think of marriage as a life-time promise. Some people act as though they view it the same as dating, courtship, or engagement, which can be abandoned if things aren’t going well.

A few Sundays ago I shared this quote:

(Illustrations Unlimited) Marriage used to be a contract. Now many regard it as a ninety-day option.

Which reminds me of something I read a while ago… (Illustrations Unlimited) Lucy says to Lois: What happened when you showed your new engagement ring to the women in the office? Did they admire it? Lois: Admire it? Four of them recognized it! 

Let us look at some passages in the Bible that speak about this principle of commitment.

I.    God’s original design promotes permanence.

Matthew 19: 6 (NKJV) ⁶ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." (KJV, “put asunder”)

Jesus said, Matthew 19:8 (NKJV) "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.”

Here we are specifically told that there may be times when the termination of a marriage is permitted, but God’s original design and plan didn’t include divorce. These are just two of the references in the Bible that reveal the truth that God designed (intended) marriage to be a permanent relationship.

Romans 7:2 (NKJV) ² For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.

To these verses I’ve just mentioned could be added a host of others, even from the OT, that reveal the fact, “God hates divorce” (see Mal. 2:16, KJV-“He hateth putting away…”)

The clear message that has been lost in our culture and is rarely communicated plainly to our youth and young adults is this, “God intended for marriages to be for life.” No person, especially a Christian, should enter into marriage with the idea that it might be a temporary thing.

I am sadly aware of the fact that there are myriads of people who got married with every intention of staying together for life, but serious circumstances intervened and derailed their best intentions. All of those situations cause years of sorrow and untold heartaches, for which we mourn and pray for help and hope. However, what I’m trying to say this morning is this, “Let us never surrender to the spirit of this age, and conclude that God is pleased with all the marriages breaking apart.”

II. The concept of covenant promotes permanence.

There are at least two references that clearly use words and concepts that teach the permanence of marriage. Let’s revisit a couple of the verses we read earlier this morning in our responsive Scripture reading.

Proverbs 2:17 (NKJV) Who forsakes the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God.

The context of this verse includes the words of Solomon giving counsel to young men to let Wisdom and Discretion deliver them from the “immoral woman” who has forsaken the companion (KJV, “guide”) of her youth and forgotten the covenant of her God.

Malachi 2:14 (NKJV) …the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant.

The word covenant appears in both of these texts.

In the Proverbs reference, the meaning is not clear. It could be referring to the covenant/vow she made to her husband before God, or it could be referring to the covenant her people (nation) had with God, which included the seventh commandment regarding adultery.

The second reference in Malachi is more direct. “She is your wife by covenant.” (KJV, “wife of thy covenant.”)

There are probably a lot of things we could say about the concept of covenant, but let me just say this much…

A covenant includes a vow or promise.

There’s not much information in Scripture about the proceedings of a wedding or marriage ceremony. However, all types of covenants even in the earliest days of biblical history included an oath/promise to follow and maintain the terms that had been agreed upon, whether it was a covenant between two equals, or between a superior subject (king) over an inferior subject. The sources I consulted indicated that ancient Jewish practices included this “promise” or “oath” to keep the covenant. This idea would have been familiar to the audiences of the prophets, and even Jesus.

A covenant includes witnesses.

In many of the biblical covenant passages, God is assumed to be the witness between the parties making the covenant. In other contexts, elements of nature were witnesses; e.g. mountains, the heavens, the seas, etc. “I call heaven and earth to witness between us this day…”

I remember the OT Hebrew professor that I had many years ago said that the ancient “weddings” of Semitic or eastern cultures were more related to civil ceremonies than they were religious ceremonies because of the fact that the marriage required the approval and sanction of the family/ community and it involved the participation of the clan or community. Marriages were not “complete” until there was a covenant promise made in the presence of witnesses to confirm and validate the promises being made.

I really don’t have time to go into it much further, but in my reading and study, I discovered a couple of passages in the NT which seem to indicate that immoral behavior could be described as “becoming one flesh” but the physical intimacy that occurred during immoral conduct was still not viewed as the equivalent of marriage. Why? I believe it was because there was no public covenant (vow) in front of witnesses. Evidently then, as time went on, marriages took more of a religious tone and became a function of the church as well as the “state.” The company of witnesses expanded to include the community of faith.

We’ve already observed that Paul in the NT compares the relationship between husband and wife to the relationship between Christ and the church. OT prophets compared the relationship between God and Israel to a marriage. The idea of covenant comes out clearly in these comparisons. God did at times bring judgment against Israel, but He never abandoned them. He never gave up on them entirely. Why? He told them repeatedly it was because He had made a covenant with Abraham, Moses, and David. God was not going back on His promise.

Conclusion:

Dear friends, nothing illustrates the permanence of marriage any better than the unfailing commitment God has made to His people. Following the normal practices of the eastern cultures regarding covenants, God sealed His covenant with Israel by the blood of sacrificial animals. But… there came a day, many centuries later, when He sealed the New Covenant with the blood of His own Son. That covenant still stands today and “whosoever will may come” to take advantage of the salvation God offers, which will make them a member of the “Bride of Christ” to be joined with Him forever some day!

Hallelujah!

Before we close, I would be remiss if I failed to speak to those who have suffered through the breakup of one or more marriages. I said at the beginning of this series that I did not want to project any spirit of condemnation and judgment.

I read something as I was studying for this message where the author said, “Divorce is never justifiable, it is sometimes permissible and always forgivable.”

If you’re feeling the weight of guilt because of failed marriages, please seek and accept the forgiveness of God and the comfort of His love and grace. Don’t allow any failure in the past to keep you stuck from moving forward in His grace. Remember a definition for “forgiveness” that I shared quite some time ago?

“Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past.” Let go and let God pour grace all over your soul.

As we close this morning, let us stand together and sing the song that is listed in the bulletin:

I Have Decided to Follow Jesus

Biblical Principles for Marriage - Part IV

(To download an mp3 file of this sermon, click on the title above. To listen online, click on the play button of the audio player here.)

This is the fourth sermon in a series of messages on the biblical view of marriage. It was given on Jan. 31, 2016.

Written Excerpts:

Genesis 2:23-24 (NKJV) ²³ And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." ²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Introduction:

I want to start off by sharing a couple of humorous stories about marriage.

Unknown Author – I was escorted to a wedding by my twenty-four-year-old bachelor son. He appeared unaffected by the ceremony until the bride and groom lighted a single candle with their candles and then blew out their own. With that he brightened and whispered, "I've never seen that done before." I whispered back, "You know what it means, don't you?" His response: "No more old flames?" (Illustrations Unlimited.)

A golden anniversary party was thrown for an elderly couple. The husband was moved by the occasion and wanted to tell his wife just how he felt about her. She was very hard of hearing, however, and often misunderstood what he said. With many family members and friends gathered around, he toasted her: "My dear wife, after fifty years I've found you tried and true!" Everyone smiled approval, but his wife said, "Eh?" He repeated louder, "AFTER FIFTY YEARS I'VE FOUND YOU TRIED AND TRUE!" His wife scowled as she shot back, "Well, let me tell you something—after fifty years I'm tired of you, too!" (Illustrations Unlimited.)

Over the past few weeks we have been talking about some of the biblical principles for marriage the way God intended. We’ve covered these two principles so far:

Marriage Is Gender Specific We believe the Bible teaches us that marriage is one man with one woman for life. We didn’t have time to go into the matter of monogamy vs. polygamy, but we did talk about the gender issue.

Marriage Is a Complementary Partnership We believe that the emphasis in Scripture is for husbands and wives to complement each other – each one making up for the weaknesses of the other, working together as a team and as a partnership.

Today, we are going to discuss the next principle of marriage:

Marriage is the complete union of two personalities.

Some have emphasized the idea of union or oneness strictly in the sense of physical intimacy implied by the phrase, “one flesh” that is stated repeatedly in the Bible. However, I believe that there is plenty of evidence in the Bible to show that the union is more than merely physical. I believe that the union between a husband and a wife is spiritual, emotional and physical.

Some people believe that spouses need to maintain their distance in order to make their marriage last. If they’re apart, they don’t fight as much, they say. If they’re together only short periods, they don’t have time to get on each other’s nerves, they say.

Rodney Dangerfield is a comedian that I don’t know much about but I read that he said this:  — We sleep in separate rooms; we have dinner apart; we take separate vacations. We're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. (Phillips' Treasury of Humorous Quotations.)

The sentiments expressed by his comment, whether he was joking or serious, is not the sentiment that is expressed in a Christian marriage. For our time in the Word this morning I want to share various Scriptures and explain how they demonstrate the unity that should exist between spouses in a marriage.

Let’s start with the most obvious one first…

I.      Becoming one flesh

Genesis 2:23-24 (NKJV) ²³ And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." ²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

There are at least 6 places where this phrase is quoted throughout the NT. When we understand this verse in the context of the creation story, God brought the man and the woman together to be joined together in one flesh in order to populate the earth. Even though populating the earth is the primary purpose mentioned in the creation account, the Bible clearly teaches that the physical union between a husband and wife is also designed for their pleasure and for strengthening their love and commitment overall.

I am from the “old school” in the sense that I always want to be careful what I say in a mixed company like this today. I believe that some topics are best discussed in private or at least in smaller group settings. However, our society is saturated with all the wrong messages about sexuality, and if we don’t talk about it from a biblical perspective our children and youth grow up with all the wrong ideas about it.

Sexuality was created by God, and He created everything good. But the devil is bound and determined to destroy every good thing God has made. Physical intimacy or Sexual intimacy was always part of God’s plan for husbands and wives and the Bible is filled with explanations of boundaries that God has set for this relationship in order to keep it sacred and special.

Hebrews 13:4 (NIV) Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Remember what we’ve often stated in the past, God didn’t give us boundaries to restrict our freedom or destroy our happiness; but rather to guarantee them. If we insist on living outside the moral boundaries, it has a detrimental effect on us in dozens of ways.

Physical union is clearly distinct from the union of soul and spirit, but they are all tied together. By that I mean that having a physical relationship with someone always involves the spirit and emotions, unless a person has defied God’s boundaries so long that their soul and spirit has become hard as stone.

There is so much that can be said on this subject, but let me just say this before I move on: Young people, you need to realize that sexual intimacy was created by God to be experienced and enjoyed with your spouse. If you choose to violate those boundaries, there’s no way to predict the heartache that awaits you down the road in your life.

II.    Becoming one soul

Last Sunday I mentioned the pastor who talked about people watching commercials for these match-making websites, and they get the impression that there is one soul-mate out there somewhere that is perfectly suited for them if they will only “take the test” and find each other. Those spouses who may not be as fulfilled in their marriage as they once was or had hoped to be, may think they’ve “missed” their “soul-mate” because they didn’t “take the test.”

Well, this pastor said, and I believe the Bible indicates, that a “soul-mate” is not necessarily a person you have to “find,” but a soul-mate is created by sharing years and years of common experiences, mutual care and respect.

Malachi 2:13-14 (NKJV) And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. ¹⁴ Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.

This passage uses the word “companion” to describe the relationship between husband and wife.

“Companion” – This is a feminine noun and this is the only place it is used in the OT.

(TWOT) The main idea of ḥābar in the OT is "to join or unite" two or more things. However, the root idea of the term "to bind" also appears, especially in the concept "charm." ….

The verb ḥābar in the sense of "join" is used with four specific references. 1) Objects were joined together, e.g. curtains in tabernacle… shoulder pieces in… the priests' holy garments… wings of the living creatures touching one another (Ezekiel 1:9). 2) Men were joined together in political and military activities… 3) Men are joined in a general manner as belonging to the race of the living (Eccles. 9:4) and in a specific way as a group of people who are formed into a strong unified city (Psalm 122:3 “Jerusalem is builded as a city that is compact together.”). 4) Men of Judah wrongly joining with faithless Israel in military and political ventures (2 Chron. 20:35) displeased God... God's heartrending complaint against Ephraim is that he is joined to idols (Hosea 4:17 "Ephraim is joined to idols, Let him alone.”). To be joined to idols means to have forsaken God.

All of these nuances certainly imply that the word “companion” carries a strong message of bonding and union between husband and wife that goes way beyond physical intimacy.

Listen to another passage in the NT that seems to have something to say about the union between the husband and the wife that goes beyond mere physical unity.

1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV) ⁷ Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

To “dwell with understanding” and to “give honor” to the wife, means that a husband needs to learn a lot more about his spouse than he ever dreamed he needed to know. It clearly involves much more than mere physical attraction and satisfaction of biological desires. Both women and men are complex individuals that are never easy to figure out. It is important that we bond emotionally and intellectually to truly experience the joy God intended for marriage.

Men, as the Scripture states, the effectiveness of our prayers depends on how well we understand and honor our wives. And, having an intimate knowledge and understanding of our spouse is a life-time pursuit. It is a life journey of bonding together in our very heart and soul.

III.   Becoming one spirit

Finally, husbands and wives are united in spirit.

To be united in spirit doesn’t necessarily mean Christian faith. We are created by God as spiritual beings, so the union even between non-Christian spouses still has a spiritual dimension. It includes that part of us that is intangible, mystical yet clearly inseparable from our overall personality. However, as we speak of the spiritual union today, we do so from the point of reference that husband and wife are Christians and therefore, the spiritual aspect of their union is clearly related to their faith in Christ.

There are a number of references that pertain to this aspect of the union.

2 Corinthians 6:14, 17 (NKJV) ¹⁴ Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? ¹⁷ Therefore "Come out from among them And be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you."

This verse has been used by a lot of people to denounce marriages between Christians and non-Christians. Well, you probably already know that neither the verse nor the context is specifically talking about marriage. Yet, the principle that is taught here definitely can be applied to marriage. When both husband and wife have a vital relationship with Christ, then they have a spiritual bond between them that nothing else can provide.

In addition to this text, we find elsewhere some general commands about prayer that can be applied to marriage.

1 Timothy 2:1 (NKJV) ¹ Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, (Context is prayer for civil authority.)

James 5:16 (NKJV) ¹⁶ Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. (context of church life)

Yet, what better person to confess to and have the prayer support from than your spouse? Almost every morning I pray with Kris and she prays with me. I can’t tell you how much that has enriched the spiritual bond between us. Just the very act of asking God to protect, lead, and bless your spouse gives an added perspective on who he/she is – not just your husband/wife, but a person you deeply care about who is in need of God’s grace and love another day.

Conclusion:

After all we’ve said about the union of two spouses in spirit, soul, and body, I want to close the message today by taking this concept and applying it to the church as the Apostle Paul did. Paul explicitly stated in Ephesians that the kind of union that exists between a husband and wife is the kind of union that exists between Christ and the church.

We’re obviously not speaking about physical/sexual intimacy in this context. But there clearly is a spiritual and emotional union with the Lord. And as we bond together with our Lord, the Bible makes it very clear that we are to bond with each other as members of His body and His bride.

All of the NT references that specifically define the kinds of compassion, care and concern that Christians should exhibit toward each other reveals their union with Christ Himself. Paul said that the kind of love and care that a husband has for the wife is “like” the love that Christ has for His church. And, practically speaking, Christ expresses His love for His church through the hands and feet of His church members.

To have stronger marriages, we need stronger unions of spouses in body, soul and spirit. To have stronger churches, we need more unity between Christians, and stronger union with the head of the church, Jesus Christ.

Let us close the service today by singing the two songs that are listed in the bulletin:    Bind Us Together / Blest Be the Tie that Binds

Let’s sing these songs as a prayer and a testimony, not only for husbands and wives, but also for members of the body of Christ.

Biblical Principles for Marriage - Part III

(The audio recording of this sermon is unavailable.)

This is the third sermon in a series of messages concerning the biblical view of marriage. It was given on January 24, 2016 at Wayside Community Church.

Written Excerpts:

Genesis 2:18 (NKJV) And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

Introduction:

We’ve started this series of messages on marriage to bring us up to Valentine’s Day, which falls on a Sunday this year. In the first sermon I gave a definition of marriage that consisted of several aspects of marriage that are expressed in Scripture. Since then, I have been taking each portion of the definition and explaining it in much more detail. Last week we talked about the fact that marriage was originally designed by God to be “gender specific.” The concept of marriage in the Bible never implies that the relationship is intended or even permitted to be of the same gender. Today I want to move on to the next phrase in the definition that I originally gave during the first sermon.

Marriage is a complementary partnership.

I suppose the first thing I need to do is distinguish which form of the word “complementary” I’m talking about. I am NOT talking about the one that is spelled with an “i.” That word would indicate that the marriage relationship is filled with compliments flying back and forth between the spouses as they continually brag on each other. (Oh, your muddy footprints look so nice on our carpet. Or - That dinner was so delicious, you know I used to eat salt right out of the shaker when I was a kid.)

That is not to say that giving compliments to each other isn’t important. In fact, they are vitally important to a vibrant, loving relationship. However, I am talking about the word “complementary” that is spelled with an “e.” Here is a dictionary definition of the word as I wish to use it:

(Merriam-Webster Dictionary) …mutually supplying each other's lack. To me, this seems to be the best idea of how marriage is a “complementary partnership.”

The Bible presents a picture of marriage where each partner is not only designed to complement the other, but each one is also motivated by love to find every possible way to complement his/her spouse for the benefit of their relationship and their home. In this kind of relationship, there is no jockeying for power or control. There is no manipulation of each other to get our own way. It is a team, both working together for each other’s benefit and for the glory of God.

Let’s take a look at how this complementary partnership is expressed through Scripture.

I.      The complementary partnership is expressed in the creation of Eve.

Genesis 2:18, 21-23 (NKJV) And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to (KJV, help meet for) him."

I think I said this before but after describing God’s creation and declaring that it was all good, this verse declares that something was not good – that man was alone.

“helper comparable” / “help meet” – The word indicates a helper to complement; not a slave or a supervisor.

Dr. Charles Carter was a theologian and author who taught at Indiana Wesleyan University and other educational institutions. In his discussion of marriage he writes:

(Charles Carter, A Contemporary Wesleyan Theology, Vol. 1) “Marriage is the only satisfactory provision for the complementation of the sexes. [The words in Gen. 2:20], But for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him suggests the incompleteness of his being and life as he stood alone to become God’s delegated sovereign over the created natural order.”

Carter goes on to describe the creation of Eve from Adam’s side. “…God formed a woman from the very side or flank… of Adam, not from one of his several ribs the loss of which he would not feel.” (Even though the English translation uses the word “rib.”)

By making this point Carter is stressing the fact that much more was taken from Adam than a simple bone in order to create his help meet.

(Ibid) Another theologian by the name of R. Payne Smith stated, “She is one side of man; and though he may have several sides to his nature and character, yet without woman one integral portion of him is wanting.

“She is something that he once had, but had lost; and while for Adam there is simply the closing of the cavity caused by her withdrawal, she is molded and refashioned, and built up into man’s counterpart. She brings back more than the man parted with, and the creator Himself leads her by the hand to her husband.”

Smith continues, “At last… he [Adam] found one standing by him in whom he recognized a second self, and he welcomed her joyfully, and exclaimed, ‘This at last is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.’”

I came across a little story where the author was speaking about the mutuality that exists in the church and he was comparing it to the marriage relationship.

(Illustrations Unlimited) Another important emphasis … is mutuality. By our differences we complement one another in the body of Christ. I think it was in the Reader's Digest I saw the story about the woman who was away for a few days at a teachers' convention. Suddenly she remembered it was Monday, trash day, and she expressed her concern to her friend. But her friend tried to calm her fears, reminding her that her husband was still at home and he could certainly put out the trash by himself. But she said, "It takes both of us to take out the trash. I can't carry it and he can't remember it."

I think that there are probably a few ladies here today that can personally relate to this story. It illustrates the ways that husbands and wives sometimes work together to complement one another, which is exactly the way God originally made them.

II.    The complementary partnership is expressed in Scriptures that define spousal responsibilities.

1 Corinthians 7:2-5 (NKJV) Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. ³ Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

While the passage is obviously talking about physical intimacy, there is a more general principle behind it.

(William Barclay, quoted in A Contemporary Wesleyan Theology, Vol 1) “Paul strikes a supremely great principle. Marriage is a partnership. The husband cannot act independently of the wife, nor the wife independently of the husband. They must always act together….”

The passage in 1 Cor. 7 is just one of many examples throughout the Bible where specific counsel and instructions are given to husbands and wives covering a multitude of different subjects related to everyday life.

1. Just as we noted a moment ago in 1 Cor. 7, every directive or instruction that is given has a more general principle behind it that clearly shows how each spouse is meant to complement one another and work together. If we discover the principle, it can be applied in a number of different contexts and settings, not just in the specific manner described in that chapter and verse.

2. When a certain passage says husbands should do… or wives should… it probably doesn’t mean that the other spouse cannot do it. e.g. Titus 2:5 – The older women were to teach the younger women to be “…keepers at home.” (i.e. busy at home or workers at home.) This probably doesn’t mean that husbands should not do any house work. Ladies, don’t let your husbands convince you that it is a violation of Scripture for him to do dishes or vacuum the carpet.

More than likely it simply means that, as a general rule, one spouse is designed by God with qualities that are more suited for certain roles than the other one is. I know that people who hold more modern values would classify my statement as chauvinistic, but that’s okay.

As we read through the Bible and discover the principles that are defined for the relationship between husbands and wives, we soon learn that there clearly is a mutual cooperation between them as they fill the roles and responsibilities in the relationship, in the home and in society.

III.   A Complementary partnership does not require perfect compatibility.

Some people would conclude from the message today that it is most important for a couple to be compatible.

I heard a recorded presentation by a pastor who talked about how the commercials on TV and other media regarding matchmaking services (e-Harmony; match.com) can cause some spouses to conclude they “married the wrong person” because they didn’t take a compatibility test. He went on to say, “We’ve been taught that compatibility is something we find or test for, but [instead,] it is something we create. We learn to be compatible.”

It certainly may be pleasant when we discover that we are compatible in certain ways with our spouse. However, I believe the biblical model for marriage is for us to create compatibility in our relationship through mutual cooperation and intentionally learning to complement one another.

If a married couple is completely compatible, that probably means that their strengths are twice as strong, but so are their weaknesses. Therefore, I propose that our goal should not be so much to marry the person we’re the most compatible with, but we should find ways to be more compatible with the person we marry.

Look around at marriages that have longevity and endurance and you will often find couples that are opposites in many ways. Yet, in spite of their differences, they discovered ways to become a partnership and complement one another, and in the process came to appreciate each other more and more.

Conclusion:

Marriage partners have equal value before God.

One of the fears that many people express whenever we begin to speak about roles and responsibilities in the marriage partnership is the claim that one spouse is shown more value than the other. The NT makes is very clear that men/women, husbands/ wives, are equally valued by God.

Galatians 3:26-28 (NKJV) For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. ²⁷ For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. ²⁸ There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

This verse emphasizes that all distinctions vanish in the family of God. No matter what our role or situation is, both husband and wife are equal in the sight of God. The love of God and the gospel of Jesus is equally available for everyone.

(Draper's Book of Quotations for the Christian World) “Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence is mutual, and the obligations are reciprocal.” – Louis K. Anspacher

So, that means your spouse is your sister or brother in Christ. Therefore, we need to work together on the spiritual growth and development of each other just as much or more than we work on the day-to-day responsibilities of work and home.

Biblical Principles for Marriage - Part II

(To download an mp3 file of this sermon, click on the title above. To listen online, click on the play button of the audio player here.)

This is the second sermon in a series of messages on marriage. It was given on Jan. 17, 2016 at Wayside Community Church.

Written Excerpts:

Genesis 1:27 (NKJV) So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

Introduction: 

According to the Bible, “marriage is gender specific.”

There are at least three reasons why I believe the Bible teaches that marriage is gender specific.

I.    God purposely created two genders with specific distinctions.

Not only do we have the specific gender language used regarding the creation of humans (Gen. 1:27, which we’ll talk more about in just a moment), but we have Scriptures clearly indicating God that designed and required a distinction to be maintained between the genders. For example, in Deut. 25, there is a passage that condemns “cross-dressing” (women wearing men’s clothing and men wearing women’s). It is described as an abomination to God.

Even though people have different interpretations and ideas on how to apply that scripture to everyday life, almost all Bible scholars that I’ve read agree that the underlying principle of this passage is that God intends for there to be a clear distinction between the sexes. There are other passages which teach the same principle. But, our culture has been intentionally blurring the lines of distinction between the genders for decades.

I think it can be said that clear gender distinctions were the standard in our society until the “sexual revolution of the 1960’s.” There has been a constant push away from the “old worn out standards” and “stereotypes” and a cry for bold experimentation and acceptance of new “norms.” It seems like there are plenty of advocates which talk and act as if this is something “new” and “bold” and full of great possibilities, but little do they realize it is just a recycling of old perversions that permeated pagan cultures and societies for millennia. They’re the same practices that God condemned thousands of years ago and forbid His people to either condone or practice as they repeatedly sought to “be like their pagan neighbors.”

Twenty-four years ago, on January 20, 1992, Time Magazine ran a cover story by Christine Gorman about the differences between men and women. I’ve heard Rush Limbaugh refer to this article on the radio different times, but I looked it up online to see verify it.

The wording on the magazine cover read, “Why are men and women different? It isn't just upbringing. New studies show they are born that way.” Inside, the article starts out, “Scientists are discovering that gender differences have as much to do with the biology of the brain as with the way we are raised.”

I’ve heard Rush laugh at this article multiple times because the so-called experts think they are making this “new” discovery that men and women are different, when those who believe the Bible have known it all along! We were created that way!

II. Most, if not all, language used in context of marriage is gender specific.

Male vs Female – see Gen. 1:27.

This reference is used in direct connection with marriage even though the word marry/marriage isn’t mentioned. Without a doubt it is because this account clearly describes God creating a woman out of man and bringing her to him to be united with him, and because of the extended context that includes the end of chapter two… “they shall become one flesh.”

(TWOT) The word [Heb. word] zākār denotes the male [gender] of humans or animals. It is used in Gen. 1:27 in its basic sense where it occurs with "female" (neqēbâ) describing the creation of mankind. The word occurs frequently with neqēbâ denoting the sexes of humans (Gen. 5:2; Lev. 12:7, etc.) as well as of animals (Gen. 7:3, 9, 16, etc.). In short it is used for the male sex when sexual distinctions are in view.

This same author (TWOT) goes on to explain that the word is used whenever specifically “male” gender is required because of the context, i.e. circumcision, “knowing” a female intimately, and forbidding intimate relations with another male.

Man vs Woman – See Genesis 2:22-23 (NKJV) Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man [ʾādām] He made into a woman [ʾishshâ], and He brought her to the man [ʾādām]. ²³ And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman [ʾishshâ], Because she was taken out of Man [ʾîsh]."

The words used here define clear gender distinctions.

Husband vs Wife – See Eph. 5:22-33. These terms get more into an area of discussion that we will revisit next time, i.e. the principle of complementing each other in the marriage relationship.

The word used for “wife” is translated more often in the NT as “woman.” And, the word “husband” is more often translated “man.” This fact gives the clear impression that terms “husbands and wives” are gender specific.

There is no place in Scripture where the marriage relationship is described as being between people of the same gender. Some might try to argue that this only shows us what the biblical authors sanctioned or favored, but there were other views and practices that were prevalent in the world at the time.

Let me remind us that the Bible is not merely a collection of personal viewpoints by ordinary people who happened to express their opinions about the behaviors and standards of others around them. The biblical authors frequently claimed authority from God for what they wrote, and the clear message over and over was that the people of God were to be different from the prevailing culture.

There is plenty of evidence throughout both OT and NT that same sex relationships were condoned and practiced in the pagan cultures of the times, but they were condemned for the people of God, whether it included the Israelites in the OT or the Christians in the NT.

III. Biblical mandate for one-flesh union presupposes gender distinction.

I plan to expand on the concept of the union between the two people joined in marriage in a later sermon, but it has significance for this issue we’re discussing today as well.

Genesis 1:28 (NKJV) Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

The very first recorded command that God gave to the male and the female was to reproduce and fill the earth with their offspring.

Genesis 2:24 (NKJV) Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Matthew 19:4-6 (NKJV) And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' ⁵ and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? ⁶ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

Jesus declares that the Creator (God, the Father) was the first one to say, “…the two shall become one flesh.” They were designed by the Creator to be physically united. The physical union was specifically designed by God for the male and the female.

Conclusion:

As we bring the message to a close I want to remind you that we’re doing this series of messages to honor marriage. I’m trying my best to avoid any attitude of condemnation, but rather to define and describe for you how God made us and for what purposes He created us.

People who believe the Bible as the standard for marriage are often characterized by the media and others as hate-mongers and bigots, etc. We do not hate people. The Bible tell us that God hates certain behaviors, so as His people we must not condone them either. But we love people and want the very best for them.

If we really accept the fact that God is our Creator, we need to understand the biblical truth that God loves us with a love beyond our comprehension, and all of the boundaries or laws God laid down for human beings to follow or live by, were all given to protect us and to guarantee our joy.

When I preached on the Ten Commandments in the past, I remember saying that so many people think that God gave us the commandments to restrict our freedom and to ruin our happiness. However the converse is actually the truth. He gave us principles and commandments to protect our freedom and our happiness. But, lest we forget, freedom and happiness aren’t the only values that are important to God. Our salvation is also included in this discussion. God created us to be in relationship with Him and ever since the beginning of time He has invited human beings to live in covenant with Him. The covenant includes a lot of things, but it ultimately involves our eternal salvation. And God has specific stipulations for anyone who hopes to be in a covenant relationship with Him. He created us, so He knows best how we are meant to function.

As I mentioned last week, once we abandon God’s design and plan for marriage, there is nothing stopping us from eventually condoning everything. Are we going to continue to honor marriage the way God designed it?

Let’s sing the closing song: Find Us Faithful